Why did so many New Zealand cricket fans take so much pleasure out of England grinding Australia into the Gabba dust on Monday?
I mean, I get the whole big brother-little brother thing. New Zealanders enjoy seeing the Aussies getting whipped, because normally (see: Commonwealth Games) it's the damn Aussies doing the whipping.
But there were almost excessive amounts of relish in the reaction to England's remarkable batting card in its second innings. In this newsroom, for example, the cheering was the loudest it's been since the All Whites made their splash at the World Cup.
Do we hate the Australians that much? Or just the Australian cricketers? Or just Mitchell Johnson?
Surely it can't be some sort of misguided allegiance to the English. It's not like their cricket team, consisting of bland homegrown players and South Africans who left home because they didn't like the fact black players were getting more opportunities, is particularly likeable.
And, while we are still forced to consider a family of privileged toffs our nominal leaders, it is also an awfully long time since we automatically fell in behind good old England. You know, about 37 years, since they shafted us by joining the common market.
It's also a mystery to me why the English are considered to have the best sporting fans in the world.
The English, you might recall, were the pioneers of hooliganism and throwing bananas at "monkeys" - black football players.
England is also the only place where you hear the haka being booed, or drowned out with that annoying song about chariots.
Even the much-loved Barmy Army resorted to fierce booing of Australian captain Ricky Ponting during the first test. Yet all that is seen as a jolly jape. Weird.
I might have to go against the grain - again. C'mon, Aussie, c'mon.
• The good old days
It has been over two years since I was the rugby writer at this newspaper (yes, I have noticed how Otago has collapsed since I left) but there are still piles of yellowing newspapers from my tenure around my desk.
While clipping out some articles the other day, I found a preview story from the 2006 domestic rugby season.
A new competition, the Air New Zealand Cup, had emerged from the ashes of the good old NPC. There were new teams and a new format (two pools, followed by a top six and a bottom eight with repechage) that almost made next year's bizarrely convoluted system seem simple.
But it was the seedings for the two pools that immediately caught my eye. Auckland, by virtue of winning the last of the old NPCs in 2005, was one of the top seeds.
Can you guess the other top seed?
Yep, Otago. From top seed to bottom seed in five years. The mighty have fallen.
• Midweek matches a must
Credit where it's due - Graham Henry and the All Blacks have had a remarkable year and, while World Cup victory should not be considered a foregone conclusion, they deserve to be rated slight favourites.
But one thing about these endless end-of-year tours is still a great mystery to me.
Why don't the All Blacks play midweek games?
The excuses given over the years have ranged from "too expensive" to "European clubs aren't interested".
I don't buy either argument. The All Blacks take 30-32 players on tour, and could easily divert half the squad to play in a smaller city. And they couldn't find three or four clubs keen to face the mighty All Blacks? Please.
If they can play in Hong Kong, purely for the purposes of making an extra dollar, they can risk losing a few pounds by playing Munster, Wasps and Cardiff.
• Open wait continues
Silly me. When New Zealand Golf said a decision on the 2011 New Zealand Open was to be made in April, I didn't realise it meant April NEXT year.
The issue has now become a farce. NZG's reluctance or refusal to say where and when the tournament will be played is embarrassing the organisation and turning off fans and volunteers.
The latest speculation is that Clearwater might not be such a hot favourite, and that The Hills might in fact be given hosting rights for multiple years from 2012.
But the fact we are still speculating, eight months after a decision was supposed to have been made, does not reflect well on NZG.
>Brothers are charms
Cricket tragics Warwick Larkins and Neil Hall have kindly provided some context to the Broom brothers' double-century partnership.
You will recall Neil and Darren Broom combined to score 252 runs for Otago in the Plunket Shield match against Northern Districts in Queenstown a few weeks ago.
Hall, via Larkins, via New Zealand cricket statistics guru Francis Payne, informs me the only other time a pair of brothers put on 200 in New Zealand was in 1973-74, when Australian brothers Greg (247 not out) and Ian (145) Chappell scored 264 for the third wicket in a test at the Basin Reserve.
Apparently the Waughs (Steve and Mark) and the Flowers (Andy and Grant) have also achieved the feat in first-class cricket.
• Arms of Death explained
I have also been enlightened as to the origins of the Albion Arms of Death junior cricket team (The Last Word, Nov 13).
Keith Wallis, the coach, tells me he was asked to coach a junior Albion team when he returned to Dunedin after living in Wellington for six years.
Asked for a name, "all I could think of was the name of the cricket team I used to play for, which was known to us as the Arms of Death Cricket Club," Wallis recalls.
"The Arms of Death was originally an indoor cricket side called Pizza Hut. Over time, the team evolved into a twilight cricket side, and played presidents grade for about five years.
"It was a group of guys who got together to play some sport, but because of their jobs, or their educational careers, could not practise. The team included a number of Pizza Hut managers, as well as a number of very educated university students that ultimately gained masters and PhDs."
Wallis says the name was coined from two simple cricket concepts: having a good "arm", and hearing the "death" rattle when the bails fall off.
The original Arms of Death team has had one reunion and another is planned for early in the new year.
• The story of TP
My heroes in sports journalism have tended to speak with an American twang, but there is no doubt TP McLean holds a special place for all of us who tinker away at the craft in this country.
He never started a story he didn't feel needed an intro of 100 words, and his style couldn't possibly hold up in the new media era.
But the old coot knew his stuff and was incredibly prolific. He was a genuinely authoritative voice of rugby long before the screaming heads of Kamo and Sumo and Willie Lose were rammed down our throats.
I heartily recommend TP: The Life and Times of Sir Terry McLean, the recent biography from son Jock McLean and Paul Lewis.
It's a fascinating portrait of a unique man. Ideal for somebody's Christmas stocking.
• Win another book
While we're on the subject of great New Zealand sports books, let's change tack to New Zealand sports books that, well, try hard.
The Last Word has a copy of The Crowd Goes Wild: Year in Sport, written by the irreverent show's hosts, Andrew Mulligan and Mark Richardson, to give away.
Flick an email with your name and a daytime contact number to the email address below by Monday 2pm to enter the draw.
