Once upon a time it was ‘Lulu who?’

A man plays volleyball during an international "volleyball on water" tournament where teams competed on a floating and partially submerged court in Slovenia’s Ljubljanica river in the capital, Ljubljana, last week. PHOTO: REUTERS

The magic of Lulu

"Have you heard about this Swiss-Chinese tennis player who is switching allegiance to New Zealand?"

Ah, no, was my response to the bloke asking that question in March.

But we have all heard of Lulu Sun now.

What a fascinating story. Her shock run to the Wimbledon quarterfinals was as thrilling as it was unexpected.

We do not enjoy hyperbole here at The Last Word — unless it involves Liverpool — so it was a tad painful to hear people talking like it was the greatest achievement in the history of New Zealand tennis. (Anthony Wilding, anyone?) And, yes, it sometimes takes time to accept someone as a true-blue Kiwi sporting hero when they have not lived here for so long.

Minor quibbles aside, this is as exciting a development as we have seen in New Zealand sport for years.

Long have we lamented the lack of a decent tennis player at the elite level. But we have Lulu now.

Ranking our teams

Twitter (X) is a horrible place, but it is useful at times for sparking ideas.

So, when I saw someone had ranked all Australian national sports teams — based on profile, importance, public interest, that sort of thing — naturally I thought I should do the same for our lot.

Oh, and if you are wondering, the random Aussie fan had the Matildas above the men’s cricket team, which is perhaps not as shocking as it sounds.

So, here it is. The exhaustive and definitely well-considered list of how all those teams with "Black" or "Kiwi" or "Ferns" rate. Note I am only considering actual teams, not wider groups like the Olympic team or the swimming, bowls or cycling teams and so on.

1. All Blacks — Then daylight, still.

2. Black Caps — But possibly poised to slide.

3. Silver Ferns — Have been disappointing in recent times, but still far and away our biggest women’s team.

4. Kiwis — Do not really play all that often, but lots of interest when they do.

5. All Whites — Need a World Cup run to really get everyone’s notice.

6. Black Ferns — Dropped back a bit since the amazing World Cup.

7. Black Sticks men — Mostly they beaver away in anonymity, but they are going to the Olympics again.

8. Football Ferns — Rocketed up the charts thanks to a World Cup at home, but results and coaching drama count against them.

9. White Ferns — Plenty of attention now, but not the performances to match.

10. Tall Blacks — They’re actually quite good and deserve a lot more love.

11. Black Sticks women — It has not been a great couple of years and there are not the superstars of old.

12. Tall Ferns — Will the Caitlin Clark factor lift all women’s hoops?

13. Black Sox — Cool name, great history, but softball’s glory days are sadly over.

14. White Sox — World champions in 1982.

15. Kiwi Ferns — By this point, it would be nice if there was a more original nickname.

Return of the king

I said a couple of weeks ago I did not see the Highlanders making a coaching change this soon.

But, really, they had no choice. As soon as Jamie Joseph said he was keen/willing to return as the big kahuna, it had to be done.

It is tough on Clarke Dermody, and there is of course no guarantee Joseph will deliver instant success. But his record speaks for itself.

Now he just needs to find or develop a couple of world-class, game-breaking players to take the Highlanders to the next level.

Meanwhile, the queen

Caitlin Clark continues to defy belief.

The greatest sportswoman on the planet just became the first player in either the WNBA or the NBA to record at least 29 points, 13 assists, five rebounds, five three-pointers, five steals and three blocks in a game.

Way back in 2008

He finds his old man exceedingly uncool, so I must not embarrass him by using his name, but a lad in my house turns 16 tomorrow.

Makes me feel old. For reference, 2008 was when the New York Giants were Super Bowl champions (led by quarterback Eli Manning; say, that is a cool first name), LeBron James was only 23 and had not won a ring yet, Max Verstappen was 11 and winning the Belgian cadet karting championship, the All Blacks had Richard Kahui and Sitiveni Sivivatu on the wing, Jacob Oram scored a century for the Black Caps in England, "anti-vaxxer" and "photobomb" were officially added to the dictionary, the Marvel universe would begin a run of 428 movies in 16 years with Iron Man, and Heath Ledger died.

Happy birthday for tomorrow, son. You were and remain the best thing about my life.