ABs may struggle versus boringly efficient Boks

Indonesian badminton players Rina Marlina and Subhan Subhan celebrate after winning their match against their Chinese opponents at the Paris Paralympics yesterday. PHOTOS: REUTERS

Your guess is ...

The All Blacks will lose both tests in South Africa and this will truly extinguish any flickering hope that New Zealand rugby is on top of the world.

The All Blacks will win both tests in South Africa and it turns out Razor is a genius and yes there are several world-class players in this team.

The All Blacks win one and lose one of the tests in South Africa and ... what does it all really mean?

My gut, a famously inaccurate guide to sporting results, tells me these are going to be two rough weekends.

Very happy to be proven wrong, but it feels worryingly like the Springboks are just too good, and just too strong, and just too horribly boring but efficient at home, for an All Blacks team still struggling for some identity.

We don’t really know what has gone on behind the scenes with the departure of Leon MacDonald. We don’t really know what impact beloved Otago coach Tony Brown will have on the Boks.

We don’t really know if some of these All Blacks are going to flourish or freeze in their biggest test yet.

Should be a fascinating couple of games.

... as good as mine

Meanwhile, Otago!

I need to be honest here and admit I gave the recent under-achievers virtually zero chance of winning either of their previous two NPC games.

Otago were so poor last season — really so dreadfully poor, and there is no dressing that up — and seemed quite limp in their Stag Day loss to Southland three weeks ago.

Naturally, they come out a different team and blow Auckland and Bay of Plenty off the park.

Suddenly, you look at a fine front row, a generational talent in Fabian Holland, a wildly over-performing loose forward trio, a class first five in Cameron Millar and a fit-again Thomas Umaga-Jensen, and you think, yeah, there is a fair sort of team here.

Have I forgotten anyone? Oh yes.

British swimmer Toni Shaw competes in the frestyle S9 heats

Finn Hurley is, as I think a rival of mine might have written, the sort of player who makes rugby fun again.

The kid can flat-out play, and it is getting to the point where we can stop talking about the size of the wizard fullback and just focus on the magic he creates.

Peerless paras

Others have said it better but you really will struggle to beat the Paralympics for pure sporting inspiration.

Make sure you watch plenty of the action in the coming days and remind yourself of the true meaning of sport.

Cheer wildly, too, for Otago’s superb athletes, Anna Grimaldi and Holly Robinson. Two extremely impressive young women.

Feeling supersonic

The Last Word remains in a state of bewildered, glorious shock and delight after confirmation the mad genius Gallagher brothers will get Oasis back together next year.

The world has been a rough place in recent years but there is light in the darkness.

On a very much related note, let me tell you the story of Wojciech Szczesny.

French singer Lucky Love performs during the opening ceremony.

The former Arsenal and Juventus goalkeeper announced his retirement the day the Gallaghers made their plans public.

Szczesny is clearly an Oasis fan as he and wife Marina Luczenko have two children: a boy called Liam, and a daughter called Noelia. A third child, Bonehead Szczesny, is presumably on the way.

Real cricket

Nothing like English league cricket to throw up some amazing scoreboards.

We take you now to the division 9 (south) league in Derbyshire, where the Mickleover CC 3rd XI have rattled on 271 for four off just 35 overs. Max Thomson has led the way with a glorious 186 off 128 balls at the top of the order.

In response, the Darley Abbey CC 4th XI — who possibly regretted their decision to bowl — have played several straight bats and eased to 21 for four off 45 overs, claiming their first point of the season for a draw.

Opener Ian Bestwick, in an innings that goes straight into the Gritty Hall of Fame, has faced 137 balls and remains unbeaten on ... zero.

Absolutely magnificent.

Number of the week

A shade over 24 million.

German table tennis player Stephanie Grebe competes in the mixed doubles against Norway.

Just think about that number.

Then think about how wealthy you must be to spend $24.1m — a stonking $NZ38m — on an old baseball shirt.

Reuters reports the shirt, worn by Babe Ruth when he hit the "called shot" home run in the 1932 World Series, became the most expensive item of sporting memorabilia after selling at auction. The previous record was held by a Michael Jordan jersey from the 1998 NBA finals, which sold for $US10.1m in 2022.