Ah, the first week back in the office after three glorious weeks of summer - well, two days of summer and 19 days of the WORST SUMMER EVER.
So many questions on my mind. So few answers springing forth from a brain addled by the constant sight of rain during the WORST SUMMER EVER.
Let's get straight into it with, oh, 63 questions to arise since I clocked off on December 27. -
1: Was Fear And Loathing In La Liga, detailing the political and social and football rivalry between Barcelona and Real Madrid, written by Sid Lowe, the best book I read during my break?
2: Or was it The Perfect Mile, in which Neal Bascomb does an extraordinary job detailing the race for the four-minute mile?
3: With apologies to All Black winger Cory Jane and surf life-saving champion Cory Hutchings, is new Black Caps star Corey Anderson already the greatest sporting Cory/Corey this country has produced?
4: And the greatest Anderson?
5: Or is that Olympic cycling medallist Gary Anderson, or Hall of Fame motorcyclist Hugh Anderson?
6: Can you name the three All Black Andersons?
7: And the two Anderson men, apart from Corey, to have played cricket for New Zealand? (Answers to both questions to follow.)
8: Pessimistic tennis question: Is there anything more predictable in sport than no New Zealanders reaching the last 16 of the ASB Classic or the Heineken Open?
9: Optimistic tennis question: How cool was it that Michael Venus and partner got to the third round of the Australian Open?
10: Isn't it weird Marina Erakovic, regularly ranked inside the top 50 in the world, doesn't get more love?
11: What if she looked like Maria Sharapova?
12: What if she was male?
13: Was the issue of New York Knicks basketballer JR Smith untying opponents' shoelaces the weirdest story of the sporting summer?
14: Or was it the furore that erupted when sportswriter Dan Le Batard ''sold'' his vote for the Baseball Hall of Fame to readers of the Deadspin website?
15: Why don't we get so wound up about the New Zealand Sports Hall of Fame?
16: Will Jonah Lomu and the 1982 All Whites be the next inductees?
17: Beatrice Faumuina?
18: Simon Poelman?
19: Kieran Read or Scott Dixon for the men's winner at the Halberg Awards?
20: Lydia Ko or Valerie Adams for the women's winner?
. . . since we . . .
21: Is Rotorua really a better base for the national sevens than Queenstown?
22: Really?
23: No, really?
24: Will there be a bigger upset in WORLD SPORT this year than Southern United beating Waitakere?
25: And how did Southern back that up with such a poor performance at home?
26: Can you believe Ricki Herbert and Winston Reid both voted for Gareth Bale to win the Ballon d'Or?
27: And that the majority of the media votes went to Franck Ribery?
28: Cristiano Ronaldo winning it was a no-brainer . . . wasn't it?
29: Was Lionel Messi's red suit kind of cool or just really awful?
30: If Manchester City's strikers stay fit, will the club win the Premier League by 12 points or only 5-6?
31: Will David Moyes see the season out at Manchester United?
32: How tasty is the Phoenix looking?
33: But won't the Melbourne Heart establish a dynasty now it has been bought by Moneybags Manchester City?
34: Starting to get excited about the New Zealand Open returning to Arrowtown?
35: Preparing to watch a whole lot of the LPGA on television as our Lydia heads into her first full season on tour?
36: What did you think of the Los Angeles Dodgers signing pitcher Clayton Kershaw to a $NZ260 million contract extension?
37: What did you think of NFL star Richard Sherman's manic interview after his Seattle Seahawks won a place in the Super Bowl?
38: What did you think of the Otago Volts signing an overseas import for ONE game - and a final at that?
39: Did Jason Holder become the first sportsman in history never to set foot in his team's home town?
. . . last talked
40: Is the HRV Cup just a little bit weird in that qualifying top doesn't give you a home final, you are allowed to call an overseas player in just for the final, and a TV commentator can duck out of the commentary box to help coach a team?
41: Has the Tui marketing person who devised the $100,000 one-handed catch promotion been given a raise?
42: But do the commentators really need to analyse each crowd catch, or attempt at a catch, twice as much as the actual cricket?
43: Enjoying watching the Indians on their last tour of New Zealand?
44: Or do you think they will continue to send their top team here after the ICC takeover is complete?
45: Suzie Bates to score a ton and lead the Otago Sparks to glory today?
46: How can Black Caps star Kane Williamson play a Hawke Cup game, but North Otago is prevented from fielding a player who lives and works in Oamaru?
47: Sure, he's South African, but haven't the Black Caps regularly fielded a South African and an Australian this summer?
48: Are you in the ''Pfft, Adam Milne has done nothing yet'' camp or the ''I'm going to get excited because this kid is FAST'' camp?
49: How clutch were the Black Sticks in winning two games by shootout at the World League?
50: Back to the Super Bowl - Broncos or Seahawks?
51: Did you hear it has been, like, renamed the Stoner Bowl because, dude, the teams represent states to have legalised marijuana?
52: Can you believe more than 5300 media will cover the Super Bowl and related events?
53: Isn't the real reason for the shift of dates for Challenge Wanaka so it can avoid the clash with the Auckland ironman event?
54: Can I predict a Wells boy is going to win New Zealand's first Winter Olympic medal in 22 years?
55: Isn't it cool that Jamaica's bobsled team has qualified for the Olympics again?
56: Has the movie Cool Runnings aged well?
57: Is Laura Langman entering the ranks of the New Zealand netball greats?
58: The Breakers can't seriously make the playoffs, can they?
59: The Highlanders aren't that short on locks, so why was former Taranaki and New Zealand Maori beanpole Paul Tito in Dunedin this week?
60: Wait, was that actually Paul Tito?
61: Has he played in Japan?
62: Can you believe it is only six days till the Highlanders play their first game?
63: Is this the WORST SUMMER EVER?(The three All Black Andersons were Eric, Albert and Brent/Buck. Other New Zealand cricketers with the surname were Mac and son Robert, popularly known as Jumbo.)
Birthday of the week
Should I look for a serious sporting birthday, or should I just point out that wrestling great The Honky Tonk Man is 61 today?
Well?
