Nothing they could write on this would be more dramatic/silly than the real thing.
What’s more, any movie of it would be spoiled for choice for a soundtrack. Would it be Hot Chocolate’s It Started With A Kiss, the Casablanca version of As Time Goes By featuring the line "A kiss is just a kiss" or even Elton John’s classic Sorry Seems To Be The Hardest Word?
Maybe not. None of them accurately describe the farce surrounding the Spanish pasher, Spain’s football federation president Luis Rubiales.
To recap, Rubiales came to our attention when he kissed Spanish forward Jenni Hermoso on the lips during the medal ceremony.
She said she did not enjoy it.
(We also saw coverage of his crotch-grabbing gesture next to the Spanish Queen Letizia, an action he says happened in a moment of euphoria. He apologised for that but excused it by saying he was "so emotional, I lost control and I took my hands there".)
Ludicrously, the federation released a statement supposedly quoting Hermoso as saying the kiss was a totally spontaneous mutual gesture. She disagreed.
But instead of taking her seriously, the federation has threatened to sue her for lying.
Initially Rubiales was defiant about the kiss, then issued a Claytons apology saying because it had caused a commotion and people were offended, he must apologise.
Perhaps if he had been able to reflect on his behaviour from the start and show some genuine remorse and understanding he had crossed the line, the lid on the festering issues concerning Spanish women footballers might have stayed on a little longer.
But no, he ramped up his defiance in a speech to an extraordinary general assembly of the federation saying he would fight until the end.
Spanish players who say they will not play for the women’s team until Rubiales is removed from this position have been garnering support from their peers internationally.
Most of the women’s coaching staff have resigned, and eventually head coach Jorge Vilda, a controversial figure who has been backed by Rubiales in the face of earlier criticism by players, saw the writing on the wall and joined in the criticism.
Those who might be tempted to interpret the outcry over this as an overreaction or perhaps political correctness or player power gone mad have missed the point.
This is about more than this kiss.
It is likely the last straw for Spanish women players who have been subjected to belittling and overbearing management and struggling to get their concerns taken seriously.
Only three of the 15 who raised criticisms last year made it to the World Cup.
Also, this has struck a chord with women around the world, whether athletes or not, who are fed up with men interpreting or downplaying concerns about events they have been involved in or, as in this case, suggesting they are lying.
It is nonsensical for Rubiales to claim this was consensual when Hermoso is adamant it was not.
As United Nations spokesman Stephane Dujarric said: "How difficult is it not to kiss somebody on the lips?"
The UN human rights office has called for this to be a turning point in ending abuse and sexism in sports.
That might be too much to hope for.
In the latest twist to the saga, Rubiales’ mother, concerned her son is being unfairly treated, has gone on a hunger strike.
We can understand the amount of media attention has been awful, but not only for Rubiales.
What about Hermoso and the rest of the Spanish team and indeed all the women who played in the World Cup and thrilled us with their performances?
Their magnificent achievement has been totally overshadowed by the boorish behaviour of a narcissistic bloke. That’s what unfair treatment looks like.
