A fan places a scarf around the neck of a likeness of Manchester United and England footballing great Sir Bobby Charlton, who died this week. The Old Trafford statue honours the United Trinity of (from left) George Best, Denis Law and Charlton. PHOTO: REUTERS
Once more ...
It is that time again. Back to the Mosgiel lounge we go, as Hadrian and Alicent prepare to watch the All Blacks claim an unlikely Rugby World Cup victory.
Hadrian: We’re in the final!
Alicent: Was it ever in doubt?
H: Well ...
A: Correct, it wasn’t. The only doubter was you.
H: And most of the team of 5million, to be fair.
A: That is just nonsense.
H: I’m still a bit worried.
A: About what? The All Blacks are humming. Barely any injury concerns. Match-winners across the park. They’re fitter. And they actually play proper rugby, unlike those dreadfully one-dimensional Springboks. Who, by the way, look tired and beaten up after two rugged playoff games.
H: You make some good points, my love.
A: You really need to listen to me when it comes to rugby.
... unto the breach
H: My concerns are threefold.
A: Go on.
H: Can the All Blacks keep 15 players on the field for 80 minutes?
A: If Scott Barrett can behave himself, yes.
H: Will the South Africans squeeze the life out of the All Blacks?
A: Nope. Or not for 80 minutes, at least.
H: Will Wayne Barnes miss a forward pass?
A: Stop it. Best referee in the world.
H: Obviously, the All Blacks forwards hold the key — and you have to think Tyrel Lomax, Ethan de Groot and Ardie Savea are the important men there. But what odds on Will Jordan deciding the final with a piece of magic that gives him the try-scoring record?
A: All about the forwards, certainly. Maybe the ageless wonder Sam Whitelock to produce another massive play near the end. I also wouldn’t mind a sneaky fiver on Damian McKenzie — my favourite player, as you know — sparking something off the bench. He’s a delightful wee tulip.
H: Ian Foster. What a story. Greatest tale of sporting redemption in New Zealand history if they win?
A: Hard to go past it. And thank goodness he won’t be breakdancing.
H: Our greatest Rugby World Cup victory — for the men, at least — if they pull it off?
A: Oh, 100%.
H: Thank goodness I picked the All Blacks to win and kept the faith right from the start.
A: Cook me some eggs and be quiet.
The anti-rugby teams
What an absolutely dreadful World Cup semifinal that was between the Springboks and England.
Both deserved to end on the losing side. They were unimaginative, negative and focused entirely on forcing the other team into mistakes.
Professional sport is for fans — their willingness to watch, and pay for the privilege, is the sole reason it exists — and both those teams effectively spit in the face of their supporters.
England, in particular, are basically a disgrace when you consider their playing numbers and resources.
They became the first team at this tournament, in 42 games, not to register a single line break. Utterly appalling lack of ambition.
Guardian columnist Jonathan Liew summed it up nicely:
"But what does it say about England as a rugby nation right now when its only means of inching through a tournament is by presenting as small a target as possible? Should a team this lavishly funded be content to play a game this limited, unambitious, unappealing on the eye? England set themselves the lowest of bars in France and just about cleared it."
Quote of the week
"Salads don’t win scrums."
Apparently Springboks prop Ox Nche has a clothing range branded with that slogan.
Nche — full name Retshegofaditswe "Tshego" Nche — is a key man in the Springboks "bomb squad", the giant reserves who come on in the second half.
Jury is out
It has taken a long time but World Rugby has finally announced a global calendar.
And, honestly, it might take me a while before I decide whether it is a good thing or not.
Half-full: Finally got some structure to the calendar, there is something to play for in the years between World Cups, women’s rugby is included.
Half-empty: There is a clear risk the second-tier nations will get left behind, there was no need to expand the World Cup, can we really trust World Rugby to get this right.
Meanwhile, in Dunedin
Welcome to the Black Ferns and the other five teams in the WXV 1 competition.
A lot of us mistakenly thought this was the historic first Black Ferns test in Dunedin but had overlooked the 1997 clash with Australia at dear old Carisbrook.
This tournament is an essential part of the growth of women’s rugby, and I do hope plenty of people take the opportunity to see some of the action at Forsyth Barr Stadium.
I’ve been disappointed, however, at the attitude of some of the teams in town.
The Black Ferns have been a delight to deal with, as always, but trying to set up some interesting yarns with others proved to be an extremely frustrating experience.
That’s a lot of points
New Zealand golfer Steve Alker has not been able to retain the Charles Schwab Cup, awarded to the best player on the Champions Tour.
Steve Stricker has claimed the title with two playoff events to spare.
It blew my mind to read a story suggesting Alker was one MILLION points behind Stricker.
A mistake, surely?
Nope.
Stricker holds a 1,909,065-point lead over Alker with "only" 1,756,000 points available over the final two events.
Ladies and gentlemen, we have found the most bonkers scoring system in world sport.
