As Mahal Pearce said in his ODT column on Saturday after he missed the cut, that's that.
The New Zealand Open is over for another year and my nine-day golfing safari is coming to a close.
It's been fun, frustrating, exhilarating, tiring - just like a round of golf. Except when I play,there's not so much fun or exhilaration.
Would I do it again? Definitely.
It's been hard being away from my family, particularly my eight-month-old son, but the golf has been much more enjoyable than I expected.
I'm hardly a golf guru now but I have learned a few things about this strange game:
1. You don't play golf. Golf plays you.
2. You CAN'T play golf. I can't play golf. When you see the professionals play, you realise how hopeless you are.
3. Josh Geary is actually the most exciting young New Zealand golfer, not Danny Lee.
4. The etiquette of golf isn't as naff as I thought. It's actually kind of nice to have a sport where doffing caps to the crowd, politely asking your
playing partner if you can putt out, and keeping your own score is, ahem, par for the course. You don't see golfers spitting, abusing officials or
faking anything. They're classy athletes.
5. Speaking of athletes, way more golfers are in way better condition that you realise. The "paunchy, middle-aged set" can stick to darts. From DJ
Brigman to Gareth Paddison, there are golfers at the Open who clearly value physical conditioning.
6. The media are valued more highly in golf than in any other sport. Cricket's pretty good but golf puts the others, particularly rugby, to
shame.
7. All this blether about golf being 95% mental is way off. It has to be at least 99% mental.
8. Every tournament should have a guy called Bubba in it.
9. Golfers are freaks. They can talk you through 18 holes and remember every club they hit and how far every shot went.
10. Golfers are the neatest sportsmen in the world.
11. Ping is the coolest name for a sports brand I've ever heard.
12. "Get in the hole" sounds even worse in person.
13. My advice if you want to go watch top golf: take a deckchair and park up beside an interesting green. You're much more likely to see something
amazing.
14. You don't need trees to make a golf course great.
15. Belly and broomstick putters should be outlawed.
16. I finally understand why the crowd has to be quiet when a golfer plays a shot. I won't complain again.
17. Sir Bob Charles is indeed a living sporting great.
