Thirty years ago, Marg McCorkindale and her husband Norm sold their Southland farm and took over menswear store Saxony Downs in Queenstown’s Camp St.
Two years ago, she looked back on 14 years of funny farming experiences for her first book, Being A Southern Woman, after having been a townie.
Now she’s written about their very different experiences as retailers in challenging times, after which they moved to Nelson for warmer climes.
Marg, who taught till ’94, says retailing "took a little bit of adjustment because as a teacher you’re always answerable to somebody, and with this you did what you liked, actually".
"But I thoroughly enjoyed being in business.
"Norm found it a little bit harder because he was going from a farm into a confined space."
He therefore enjoyed his ‘escapades’ when he’d break for a walk around town.
Their shop specialised in merino woollen garments for visitors, in the main, so they were subject to more seasonal lulls than nowadays — Marg recalls many shops after summer putting up ‘back in July’ signs.
However, they also catered for locals, especially with their suit-hire service and drycleaning agency but, Marg recalls, many would go overseas over winter.
After eight years, she says they decided not to take on a new eight-year lease as Queenstown was still a boom-bust town — in their final two years, she notes 40 businesses closed. (Their premises were then leased by Subway, but they subsequently pulled the pin, too.)
However it’s the fun times she remembers most, which she packs into 13 self-contained stories, including a warm-up holiday at the Arrowtown campground.
Referring also to her first book, she says "I went with the short stories because I thought it’s easier to write humour".
"I always wanted to write humour because I feel strongly there’s not enough humour in our world."
Marg says 99% of what she writes about took place, but she admits to adding a few embellishments.
Below are summaries of just three of the yarns.
- A female sales rep convinces Marg and Norm — ‘Carol’ and ‘Doug’ in the book — to add some women’s tops.
To entice sales, they spend $800 on an attractive life-like mannequin to model the tops, whom they name Rosie.
Carol’s about to close one July day when an Aussie man, with two female companions, pops in.
He then tries to hump Rosie, much to his friends’ amusement, till he calls out to Carol: "She’s frigid."
Rosie was quite the worse for wear — "she was vibrating all over and a loud pinging sound was coming from her insides".
The couple then transport Rosie home for repairs with her feet sticking out their car’s boot, being stopped on the way by a curious cop — "that was a bit exaggerated", Marg admits.
- A gum-chewing, Goth-like young woman hands over an indeterminate item for drycleaning, giving her name only as ‘Sin’.
It’s a black furry thing which Carol and Doug have no idea about — "it was very short, had no sleeves and had no neckline".
The Goth girl returns to pick up the item and explains it belongs to Star — "ma dog".
Her eyes in heavy black circles roll: "Gee, thought ya knew ‘bout clothes.
"D’ya really think I’d want to wear a dog warmer?"
- A Frenchman, whom Carol can’t communicate with, tries on about 10 pairs of trousers while an American woman buys merino jerseys for her husband.
The latter, and Carol, are then shocked to find the man in the middle of the store with his trousers dropped on the floor.
"On full view was a range of multi-sized body bulges.
"Some of the vital ones had a fabric covering, which one could only describe as extremely minimal and rather tight."
Doug turns up, and as if he was still man-handling sheep, forcefully shunts him back into the fitting room, though the lower half of his body remains more out than in.
All ends well when the Frenchman buys four pairs of trou and leaves the store happy.
- The book, $25 a copy, is available via copypress.co.nz or southerntownie@gmail.com
