''Come in'' says the young British guy who answers the door of the 'rat-infested dosshouse' in Queenstown, stuffed with 20 tenants.
Inside, in the lounge, there are six people lying on four sofas watching The Rugrats Movie.
It's 9.30am on a Thursday. The curtains are closed. To be honest, I'm a bit jealous.
It's never going to feature on MTV Cribs but it's not awful and it looks like it would be quite good fun living here.
The six people I meet are nice, intelligent youngsters in Queenstown for the ski season or a couple of years abroad.
It'd be like being a student again - few responsibilities, loads of mates, nights out, maybe even some casual sex.
Of course, I'm a few months away from 40, married with one kid - so it's not really an option.
While there are rooms, or beds in shared rooms, available to rent in the country's premier resort town, finding a decent house for a family to rent is tough.
We've been looking since mid-June.
We're building in one of the new subdivisions but it'll be at least 18 months before that's ready.
The rental we're in at the moment is needed for a family member of the landlord.
She's been brilliant, giving us the time we need, but it's been almost three months now since she asked us to find somewhere.
We're paying $350 a week for a cosy two-bedroom which is furnished but no bills.
There's no chance of finding anything near that price any more.
More like $600-plus a week.
Or, and this sounds much more scary, $31,200 a year, on rent.
Single rooms in shared houses are going for up to $440, although they're generally about $240.
You look on TradeMe or RealEstateNZ and you see quite a few properties up for rent, maybe 20 when you take out the $1000-plus a week holiday lets.
But several of those are short-to-medium term, until December, say, or April next year.
Anything two-bedroom under $500 tends to be the definition of basic.
Likely cold and draughty, possibly damp, '70s decor.
And then you find one that looks decent for $500-$600.
You turn up to the viewing and there's 30 people there, all smiling at and bowing before the rental agent.
It feels churlish to complain about finding somewhere to live in ''the best place in the world'' when there are Syrian refugees pleading for safety in Europe.
It's still stressful though and I can't see this rental crunch being alleviated in the short term.
Maybe there'll be some extra space when the ski workers leave.
Until then, well, the beds in the 20-person shared house are $120 each.
Wonder what they'd charge for a cot?
