WINSTON PETERS
I am not going to see Snow White. I am not going to waste my time on a woke remake of the 1937 classic. It is a travesty of the original movie which charmed generations of children and taught them important lessons that the world is full of senior figures of authority who get up to all kinds of dark machinations and evil plots in their bid to hold on to power.
We all know that Snow White had skin "as white as snow". But the producers have cast a dark-haired actress with a Colombian background. In other words they have gone mad, full-flushing mad, and elected to conform to the same diversity, equity and inclusion initiatives that New Zealand First is campaigning against. We will remove this breeding ground for identity politics in the public service — and make it a magical kingdom where Snow White and Prince Charming can enjoy an office romance.
And so this is why I am not going to see Snow White. The remake has eaten the poisoned apple — and the poison is wokeness.
CHLOE SWARBRICK
I am not going to see Snow White. While the remake is to be applauded for casting a dark-haired actress in the central role, and congratulated for renaming the seven dwarves as seven magical creatures, it continues to operate as a capitalist paradigm where the needs of the individual are greater than the efforts of the many.
The seven magical creatures could have formed a collective. They could have recognised their power as a union, and agitated for change. They could have called for achievable climate change targets, and worked towards prison reform.
And so this is why I am not going to see Snow White. The remake has eaten the poisoned apple — and the poison is the inability to mobilise the masses into overthrowing an individualist regime and opting for a left-wing bloc formed by magical creatures who despise the concept of profit.
CHRIS HIPKINS
I may or may not go to see Snow White. It’s something I need to discuss with the Labour caucus, and with advisers, consultants, aides and others who are all working towards the idea of Labour doing as little as possible that will cause offence and risk our good standing in the polls of late.
And so this is why I cannot say whether I will see Snow White, but I can tell you this. New Zealand has eaten the poisoned apple — and the poison is the most right-wing, pro-privatisation, pro-neoliberalism government that we have seen in at least 30 years.
Labour will kiss it better, and I am discussing with the Labour caucus, and with advisers, consultants, aides and others, on the best way for that kiss not to look too weird.
DAVID SEYMOUR
I am going to see Snow White. I hear it’s got good songs, and it sounds fun. What’s not to like? People worry too much.
By Steve Braunias
