Life as we know it, which must be clung to at all costs, involves on-street carparking, this time in Albany St.
Without the ability to always be able to find a carpark outside whatever place we choose to visit, life is not worth living.
What’s more, any reduction of carparks outside retailers is killing local shops, regardless of what they are selling.
Oh, please.
What era are these carpark devotees, and indeed our transport minister, Simeon Brown (who has dubbed walking and cycling initiatives a waste of money), living in?
Have they heard about global warming and the emissions produced by transport?
Have they read research saying that for every dollar spent on walking and cycling projects, there’s $10 at least in benefits, far better than pollution and disease-producing big roading schemes?
Are they not aware of the impact of online shopping on retailers here and elsewhere in the world?
I haven’t mentioned the carpark enthusiasts’ reverence for the elderly and their need for on-street parking wherever they go.
It’s as if all of us over the age of 65 have been assigned to some weird group in which we are rendered incapable of walking more than two steps to anywhere.
Of course there are some among us who may need easy access by car to many places, but that is not all of us and I resent the assumption all old people are infirm.
Admittedly, I may be the only driver who would rather have my remaining teeth pulled out without an anaesthetic than ever attempt to back into a park between two other vehicles.
This is not something which reared its ugly head once I turned 65. I have spent a lifetime carefully avoiding any park I could not drive straight into.
Consequently, I have done a bit of extra walking — good for my health I am sure — and many cars have remained intact.
When the car-parkers have exhausted arguments for carparking retention, they can move on to the audacity of those damned cyclists wanting more cycleways when they are never seen on the ones already provided at great expense.
Of course, the car-parker brigade has stationed its members beside these cycleways for days on end, dawn to dusk, armed with binoculars and clicker counters to back up these claims. Yeah, nah.
If the cycleways we have are not teeming with cyclists all day every day, could there be other reasons for that? Perhaps part of it is because the places they go are not the only places cyclists might want to travel.
If wannabe cyclists want to go further afield, some might be put off because it can be so scary and circuitous.
When my granddaughter, 9, biked from North East Valley to St Clair with her father last year, she was perplexed at his grumpiness (not his usual demeanour).
I gently suggested he was probably stressed out by fears for her safety on those parts of the journey when they had to mix it with the weekend traffic.
Since the beginning of 2017 I have used an electric bike as my first choice for travel to and from the city (a return trip of 32km). It is great being able to complete that journey now without mingling with cars or other motorised vehicles, although when I reach the inner city that is unavoidable.
Call me ungrateful, but I am not sure why so many other road users are keen to give me advice. Unfortunately, some of it is lost to the wind.
Recently, after turning from Stuart St into Cumberland St because I was heading for the nearby supermarket, I moved into the left lane. All legitimate, but a woman pedestrian felt the need to point out the cycle lane was on the other side of the road.
I was annoyed at myself for explaining I was going into the supermarket before retorting, childishly, I didn’t need her "bloody advice".
If I had had my wits about me, I would have pointed out she was disobeying the law because she was about to cross the road within 20m of traffic lights.
Animosity to cyclists and ferment about bike lanes has been a global trend. As I have said before, we need to get over it.
In a hopeful editorial two years ago, entitled "Is the war against bike lanes finally over?", Canada’s Globe and Mail pointed out the goal of protected bike lanes was not to get every single person on a bike, or for cars to be abandoned.
"Bike lanes are neither a disaster nor a saviour. They’re about options."
Someone needs to tell Mr Brown.
- Elspeth McLean is a Dunedin writer.
