She says, "You've got to give and take a little, and treat each other with respect".
He says, "She's always been a good cook, and I've always been a good eater. I think that helps the longevity of a marriage."
But in all seriousness, after 65 years of marriage, both Ellen (83) and Gordon (85) Blay said the death of their daughter had been a significant factor.
"She died of melanoma and left a son. We took him in as our own and brought him up.
"Having someone young in the house to look after helps to give a marriage purpose and focus," Mr Blay said.
The Mosgiel couple celebrated their 65th anniversary yesterday, and there was a rollercoaster of emotions as they recalled with clarity some of the delightful highs and catastrophic lows of their time together.
While Mr Blay was born in Lumsden, Mrs Blay (nee Newman) was born in London, and a passion for sailing brought the two together.
"My great-grandfather served on the Earnslaw and the Mountaineer on Lake Wakatipu, and I always wanted to be like him and go to sea," Mr Blay said.
When he was 17, he found a job on board a ship in Port Lyttelton, bound for Europe.
"I nearly missed the boat. It was pulling out when I arrived at the wharf, and I actually had to jump from the wharf on to the ship.
"I often think what would have happened if I had missed that boat," he said.
After sailing around most of the globe, Mr Blay ended up in London in the middle of World War 2.
"I came off a train at the Lambeth North tube station and, in those days, they had canteens in the stations where people could get a cup of tea and a cake while sheltering from the German air raids."
Mrs Blay said she was at the canteen with a friend when Mr Blay "rolled up".
"My friend asked him, 'can you take me to New Zealand with you?' And he pointed at me and said, 'no, but I'll take you'.
"I was only 16, but I thought what a cheeky blighter. We got talking and that was it."
The couple were engaged on VE Day (May 8), and in October 1945 they were married at St Mary's, Lambeth.
A year later, Mr Blay brought his bride back to Christchurch.
They have worked together as hoteliers in Winton and Rolleston, and later became market gardeners in Blenheim.
"We had to stop being hoteliers because my gut was getting too big working behind the bar," Mr Blay said.
The couple retired to Mosgiel.
They celebrated their anniversary with a family dinner last night.
"And for once, I didn't have to cook," Mrs Blay said.
