The silly season is upon us and for some couples this may have brought out the romantic in each other and the big proposal has happened: Congratulations! Now how to plan the perfect wedding?
While a more casual or low-key event can be thrown together at short notice, allowing 6 to 12 months to plan your big day can avoid unnecessary stresses and allow you to get your first choice in suppliers or venue for example. Every couple is different though and what suits one will not suit another - use your instincts, communicate with each other and be yourselves.
Don't try to live up to some magazine perfect pastel day if you and your partner are more of a ‘throw another shrimp on the barbie' couple. Each to their own, embrace your personalities - that's what makes your wedding day unique and special.
The following are suggestions to use as a guideline: please take or disregard any advice you like/identify with, or not!
6 to 12 months out from the big day:
The budget - Work out a realistic budget and decide who will pay for what. Some parents of couples may wish to contribute - by accepting this kind offer you may need to include them in a bit of the planning (the guest list for example) as a sign of your thanks for their generosity. Some will expect this, others won't be fazed so it's best to be open and talk about expectations. Getting this out of the way early on avoids awkward or potentially unpleasant situations later down the track. If you and your partner plan on funding the whole shebang yourselves, by all means whatever you say goes!
The style/theme - This is often a natural and easy decision to make, but remember to keep it simple. Having too many colours or ideas in one day can get confusing or stressful. Think about your mutual tastes and your personalities. Carrying a colour or style throughout the wedding planning can help in making other decisions (such as bridesmaid dress colours, flowers, invitations...) so establishing some ideas now is wise.
The date and place - Have an idea of the time of year you would like, rather than an exact date as venue availability may end up dictating this. Think of your favourite places and where you envision your big day taking place. If you would like an out of town/NZ wedding, think about logistics of accommodation and how this may affect your guest list. Not everyone may be able to attend a wedding in Rarotonga, so a sunny local spot may be more suitable if you want more guests to come. Or if most of your family and friends still live in your own home towns full of special memories perhaps that is a good place to hold it.
The attendants - Choosing your bridal parties may be the easiest or hardest of all your decisions! Don't feel pressured by childhood promises or drunken declarations from years ago - follow your gut instincts. Best friends, siblings and cousins make for wonderful, reliable attendants who will be in your lives for many more years to come. Try to keep the number of them realistic: the more you have, the more different opinions or body shapes you have to deal with. There are many other ways friends and family can be a part of your big day and feel special too.
The celebrant - You need someone to officiate your marriage. If you attend a church you may want your local minister to be the one to do this, or a family friend may have a celebrant license - having someone you are familiar with is a bonus, but not a necessity. Look online, ask other married friends who they had, and meet some potential celebrants to see if you click with them. A factor in your decision-making may be the style of wedding you are having so have some clear ideas established before you begin your hunt.
The venue - Deciding on the style and theme of your big day will help in your venue choosing. A casual beach affair will need a different location to a grand castle themed wedding. Be yourselves, think about your similar likes/dislikes and take it from there. There may be a place that is mutually special to you or somewhere you can just picture yourselves marrying at. Ring around to check availabilities and make appointments to check the places out before any final decisions are made. You should be able to pencil yourselves in without an official commitment being made until the deposit is paid, but all venues will work differently.
The guests - Compile a guest list and run it past both your families. This is where your parents/family may want some input. Be open to suggestions but know that you should have the final say. When it comes to friends on the list, think about who has been in your lives and will continue to be for years to come. Aim for an even amount from each side of your families and friends. Be ruthless - finalising the guest list can be very difficult and you may feel pressured about it. You could break the list up into parts: the wider list for the ceremony, with a more intimate (and affordable) list for the reception, then wider again for a dance/party later in the evening. Think of some practicalities such as talking to each guest on the day and budget again. Sending out ‘save the date' cards is a nice touch to pre-warn guests who live afar.
The flowers, photographer and the gown - All these fun things need to be thought about now and even booked. Again, each business will differ but as a general rule florists, photographers/videographers and bridal wear need 6 months' minimum notice. The earlier the better is the case here!
The reception entertainment and transport - The venue you have decided on will help in these decisions. Some places may have musicians/bands/DJs they can recommend or have there often, and some venues are a little out of town so organising a bus to transport guests to and from a centralised point can be a nice touch (leaving you and the bridal parties in the fancy cars!).
Finally, the engagement party! This is a time to celebrate and have some fun with family and friends before diving into too much of the detail of the big day. Enjoy your engagement, whether it is two weeks or two years. Keep communicating with each other through the decision making process.
Breathe, express yourselves, enjoy.
(A great place to start your wedding planning is with the ODT's online Wedding Guide - full of helpful links and contacts to get you on your way to the perfect wedding)
