I think I'm coming down with a virus that has me dying to curl up on the couch with the only antidote that will make me feel better - the TV remote.
When do you know Rugby World Cup fever has taken hold of not only yourself but most of the nation?Is it when almost every television advertisement has some rugby theme, legend, or analogy unashamedly attached to it?
Is it when the Tongan supporters show the more reserved sectors of New Zealand society how to be a true and loyal fan by turning up in the thousands to support and deafen their team?
Is it when the Air NZ in-flight magazine has 65 pages dedicated to rugby, including a one-page "lost in translation" guide explaining rugby terminology to the uninitiated, or should I say uninfected?
For those of you who are interested, the term "dummy" refers to any player attempting to intimidate Brad Thorn or Bakkies Botha.
I realised the extent of this epidemic when I spoke at a monthly meeting for business and professional women who turned into giggling schoolgirls at the sight of the Namibian rugby team in the spa pool just outside the venue window.
Thankfully, they'd exited the spa, robed up (rather slowly I might add), and disappeared out of sight before I got up to speak.
How could I compete with that?I've been fighting off this virus for some time. Telling myself I'm not infected, that my immunity as a critical, sane and well-rounded person has made me invincible to the craziness that overpowers victims of this epidemic.
Who am I kidding? I realised how entrenched I have been in the rugby culture when a simple quiz was carried out with these well-rounded and worldly women (recovering from their close encounter with the Namibian team) regarding Rugby World Cup facts.
Many didn't know who New Zealand played in the 1987 World Cup final, or who won the last World Cup in 2007.
It is always difficult to "see" your culture when you are totally immersed in it, so it was an eye-opener for me that I was such a rugbyhead.
As a timely antidote, this week I attended a panel discussion about what impact the World Cup may have on Maori.
Maori culture and images have already played a big part in this event with powhiri, haka, mihi, and Maori images plastered all over team welcomes and event paraphernalia.
Other than these tokenistic and commodified gestures of inclusion, does the Rugby World Cup provide long-lasting benefits for Maori? Do Maori benefit from being involved this way?
What kind of image of Maori is being broadcast to the world? Do Maori have control over how they are portrayed, and are there any risks for Maori surrounding the RWC 2011?It feels anti-nationalistic and blasphemous to even ask these questions, but I do think that the national obsession with this event, as well as the international gaze on New Zealand provides an opportunity for us to enter into these critical discussions. If not now, when?
The antidote didn't last long. It is a guilty pleasure watching the Rugby World Cup which relies heavily on the work of volunteers and staff (many of them women and Maori), knowing that there is very little long-term benefit to Maori or women. And yet I still buy the tickets and still intend to watch the matches.
My current dilemma is which channel to watch. My final decision will come down to commentators that annoy me the least.
Maori TV has an impressive line-up of commentators such as Buck Shelford (New Zealand), Gavin Hastings (Scotland), Mark Ella (Australia), Pat Lam (Samoa) and Inoke Afeaki (Tonga).
An intriguing line-up, almost as intriguing as the All Black line-up for the opening game against Tonga.
The coaches haven't let sentimentality get in the way of their selection policy, putting Israel Dagg ahead of Mils Muliaina, who along with Richie McCaw is two away from reaching the 100-test club.
It will also be exciting to see how Ma'a Nonu and Sonny Bill Williams combine in the midfield, and how Richard Kahui and Isaia Toeava go out wide.
And what about the opening ceremony? What will that look like?
What will the rugby world think of us New Zealanders and Maori after seeing that spectacle?Don't even get me started on the first wero (challenge) that will be laid down by the All Blacks and responded to by the Tongans.
I'm getting feverish just thinking about it, so I'm going to have to accept that I have a full-blown case of Rugby World Cup-itis which will take at least six weeks to get over.
