Just four gongs to hand out in this year's celebration of all things slightly off the beaten path in Otago racing circles this year, but all are worthy recipients:
The Milli Vanilli gold LP for complete lack of originality
The champion (I use that word ironically) at Cromwell last Sunday, who thought it was hilarious to yell abuse at the clerks of the course every time they went past after the field had already left the home straight.
It's been done plenty of times before and it's never been funny.
The Sam Hunt scroll for services to poetry
If Brad Williamson ever decided to give up driving (and he probably shouldn't, as he is going pretty well this season), it seems he has a future in the written word - albeit with the help of a good editor.
A poem doing the rounds courtesy of Mr Williamson's thumbs on his mobile phone is getting plenty of laughs from those who have seen it.
Unfortunately, it's not exactly fit for publication . . .
The Holeproof pair of socks for the foot-in-mouth moment of the year
A regular Smithys award recipient features again this year - once again, nameless - after this trainer remarked on the attractiveness of a woman at Wobbly's.
When he asked the trainer next to him who the attractive woman was, the trainer replied, ''That's my daughter.''
The Where's Wally pom-pom hat for popping up pretty much everywhere
St John paramedic Dave Hay is a regular sight at the races - often driving the ambulance - but he loves the racing game so much, he's sighted at race meetings on his days off.
Imagine my surprise, however, when he yelled at me from a spot in the grandstand right on the finish line at Addington during New Zealand Cup week.
Then he pops up at Riccarton in a working capacity. Well played, Dave.
Lazy Fiver
Yes, that's another winner . . . I'm as stunned as you are.
Querer returns $50 to the pocket of Bryan Ross.
Now, the TAB have been very kind in paying out the last three weeks on the back of my rare form of tipping.
However, in order to make the payout easier, they require the winner to have a TAB account - and it's their money, so I'm more than happy for them to set the rules. So please only enter if you have a TAB account.
If you don't have one, open one up.
It doesn't take long.
Entries without a TAB account number won't be accepted.
Dunedin man Mark Storer will be hoping Kawi can get a clean run in the Captain Cook Stakes (race 8) at Trentham tomorrow, after the star galloper was held up until late at Tauranga.
This week's question: Name any of the nine race winners at Cromwell last Sunday (not including the Sheep Derby). Name, contact number and MOST DEFINITELY your TAB account number to the email below.
- Check out Matt's two-minute racing tips video every Friday at www.odt.co.nz
