Just one ...
You are almost certainly sick of hearing from these two.
But sure, here we go again. Off to Mosgiel to catch up with our friends after the disappointment of Paris.
Hadrian: I am reminded of a famous column from an old adversary of mine, Nathan Burdon. It must have been after the disastrous 2007 World Cup quarterfinal in Cardiff. He wrote, over and over again: "It’s only a game. It’s only a game. It’s only a game." Astute analysis AND the easiest column ever written. Hat tip to that man.
H: That’s the word, all right. Pretty much everything that could go wrong for the All Blacks DID go wrong for the All Blacks. And they still only lost by one point!
A: That sort of keen analysis is why the readers of your beloved newspaper would never call you a hack or a clown (see below).
H: Oh ha ha. So let’s run through it. Pretty frustrating to miss those two difficult but kickable shots at goal. Always wondered if the lack of a genuinely world-class kicker would come back to haunt the All Blacks.
A: Bit harsh. They really were tricky kicks.
H: Will Jordan! Had a shocker.
A: I won’t hear anything against my beloved Will.
H: A bit cruel to single him out, to be fair. Not many All Blacks really had a great game. They copped some bad luck but it just seemed, overall, like they didn’t really click. Or maybe they just suffocated a bit. They SAFFA-cated a bit, eh. Alicent? Alicent?
A: Clown.
... last conversation
H: This will sound like sour grapes. But jeez, aren’t the Springboks awful. Utterly devoid of ambition. They just kick it high and hope for a mistake.
A: I mean, you have to respect them for the fact they just won back-to-back World Cups. And winning three knockout games by a single point was unreal. But, yep, dreadful rugby.
H: Sam Cane. Discuss.
A: Top bloke — and clearly his team-mates love him. Very good rugby player. Pretty unlucky to cop a red card.
H: Ian Foster. Discuss.
A: Top bloke — and clearly his players love him. Overall, not one of the great All Black coaches, by our national team’s extremely high standards. But he will be remembered for the amazing Irish win, not narrowly losing the final.
H: Scott Robertson. Discuss.
A: Needs a chance. There are some gaps to fill. I guess we now get to find out if he is indeed some sort of coaching savant.
H: TMO interventions. Discuss.
A: Basically ruining the game. Should only be used for cases of egregious foul play. And rugby needs to decide what it wants to be. Is it a high-impact collision sport where accidents happen, or a confusing mess? Look at the NRL. Rightly or wrongly, they decided to let some things go, and the sport is much better to watch now.
H: Four more years. Go the Black Caps.
A: Amen to that.
Red rags to bulls
Social media is a cesspit, as we all know, but it can still surprise how spiteful people can be on there and how the most minor thing can turn them into raving lun.. . um, moderately unbalanced types.Player ratings, in particular, seem to have an out-sized effect on the moods of our readers. Yes, player ratings, a completely arbitrary and essentially trivial element of our sports coverage.
The Last Word copped the lot when he dared to rate the All Blacks after their World Cup final loss. He was called a "hack". He was called a "clown". He was called "the worst sports journalist in New Zealand". He was called "a journalist shock jock". He was accused of (yawn) "gutter journalism".
Best of all, one Michael Whitirea referred to the "insanely unathletic Hayden Meikle". And, to be fair, truth is his defence.
Their central thesis seems to be either (a) you didn’t play for the All Blacks so you don’t get to judge them, or (b) you should be giving all our brave boys 10/10 for trying. Both suggestions, of course, being utter tripe.
Ice hockey tragedy
This will easily be the most awful sports story of the year.
American ice hockey player Adam Johnson died from a shocking accident during a game in the British league when he copped a throat laceration from a wayward skate.
I wonder if this will be the event that forces ice hockey into a wider examination of player safety, much as the cricket world looked into what more could be done to avoid head injuries when Australian batter Phillip Hughes died in 2014.
Quote of the week I
"Bee the force that cannot bee stopped." — Boxing great Mike Tyson dressed up as bumblebee for Halloween.
Quote of the week II
"You’ve been short-changed, love. ECB don’t deserve you." — Carolynne Willey posts a supportive message to husband David, the English cricketer who found out during the World Cup he was the only player in the squad not being offered a new contract.
Quote of the week III
"Those hamstrings could have torn at any time. It was — on paper — a wet kitchen towel. Ultimately, I had a major maintenance carried out after 700 matches, a bit like you do with your car." — Manchester United superstar Kevin de Bruyne on his injury concerns.
