Shannon Saunders was unsure what was left for her career.
Her priorities shifted shortly after helping the Silver Ferns win bronze at the 2022 Commonwealth Games when Saunders announced she was expecting her first child.
It ruled the Southern Steel stalwart, and then captain, out of last year’s ANZ Premiership and Saunders admits back then, it was up in the air on whether she would return to the court.
"I actually didn’t know. I thought I was probably like done," Saunders said.
But after having her now 13-month-old daughter, Madison, Saunders’ desire to show her daughter she can do anything she puts her mind to lured her back.
"Just like having her in the crowd watching me — not that she’ll probably remember — but just the memories of having her there and showing her that she can do anything.
"Then kind of watching the [Steel] girls, and how hard it was for them, I felt like I definitely needed to give back."
Her competitiveness was itching to be unleashed and her love of training motivated her to get off the couch and get back on the court as well.
Motherhood had been "the best thing ever" and made Saunders take a step back and gain a fresh perspective on life.
"She just like makes you appreciate the small things in life.
"They just get so much joy out of the silliest little things which has just been really nice and made me slow down."
That new perspective will join her on the netball court this year in her return for the Steel and helped relieve the pressure others felt.
"‘When you’re younger, you just get so worried about what people think, and performances, and stuff, and I’m just like so excited to play.
"It’s just me time and having fun."
Life has only got busier for Saunders in the past couple of months.
The midcourter has been juggling her return to the Steel with motherhood, while also commuting down south from her home in Nelson.
But the Steel’s support system — "I’m grateful that they are willing to kind of allow me to do that" — and her enjoyment of being back around her netball community made it worth it.
She watched on in agony at home last season as the Steel lost every game, extending their losing streak to 18, and it was hard to watch her team-mates go through that.
"I’ve definitely had hard seasons in my time, so I know frustrating and how hard they would have been working behind the scenes," she said.
"Honestly [I] felt like I lived every game with them and was just praying for a win.
"I know they would have got a lot of resilience from that last year and very determined to improve this year."
The new, yet familiar, faces in this year’s squad made it easy to settle back into her role and Saunders enjoyed seeing them return to the Steel from their various journeys away from the team.
"It’s so nice to kind of see them come back and just have a new lease of life with our netball."
Reconnecting with them again had been great, as had the netball community in Southland and Otago.
"You always have the same people at the stadium, in the offices ... it feels like home. It’s been nice coming back and just seeing everyone and how they’ve been going."
The 90-cap Silver Fern said the Steel was her main focus at this stage as she learned to balance her career and life away from the court.
‘At this stage, I just want to have fun, and get out there, and see where I’m at because it feels very foreign, but exciting."
Named as vice-captain, Saunders will support new captain Kate Heffernan, a player Saunders called "phenomenal" and she had loved watching her rapid rise.
"It’s just been awesome to see her evolve, become more confident in herself and her voice," Saunders said.
"Just the way she plays, she’s very inspirational, so I think it’ll be cool to see her as captain and just the way she leads in her own way ... she does the naturally out on court how her plays anyway."
They get their first chance to see how the Steel have blended together when they play the Mainland Tactix at the Southern Showdown in Dunedin tonight.
The Northern Mystics, Central Pulse and Waikato-Bay of Plenty Magic are also making the trip down and the Steel will play the Mystics, Magic and the Pulse over the next two days.
"I think everyone’s kind of been counting down the days to this tournament just to kind of see where we’re at.
"It’s exciting that we can showcase netball here ... and show Dunedin off."
While her daughter might not be in the crowd this weekend, Saunders is hopeful she will be able to come to a few Steel games throughout the season. And while Madison might not remember those early games, her mother will still be making her proud.
Southern Showdown
The draw
Today: Mystics v Pulse 4.30pm, Steel v Tactix 6.30pm
Tomorrow: Steel v Mystics 10am, Magic v Pulse 12pm, Steel v Magic 4.30pm, Tactix v Pulse 6.30pm
Sunday: Tactix v Magic 10am, Steel v Pulse 12.30pm
