Social workers in Dunedin say there are more and more single fathers but services to support them are still in their early stages.
Catholic Social Services social worker Mike Tonks, who has been running a fathers-only play group for the past year, said solo fathers needed support services specially designed to their unique experience of parenthood.
''Some fathers would attend regular play groups and feel really uncomfortable as the only man among a dozen or so women,'' Mr Tonks said.
''They couldn't relate to the types of conversations the women were having and the vibe was sometimes weird - the women thought they might be hitting on them.''
Catholic Social Services ran a fathers-only play group on Thursday once a fortnight from 11am to noon. The number of men in attendance could range from three to seven, and were a mixture of solo fathers who had full custody of their children, fathers who shared custody or had visitation rights, he said.
He also runs a six-week men-only parenting group which has been steadily growing in attendance.
''Children need their fathers in their lives, and men need to learn how to be good fathers,'' Mr Tonks said.
''For the health of the child and the family, that is non-negotiable.''
Forestry worker Jason Booth (34) gained full custody of his 3-month-old daughter Shyla two weeks ago. Shyla had not been achieving her developmental milestones on schedule, Mr Booth said.
When he recently shopped for clothes for Shyla, he found she still fit into newborn onesies.
''I never planned on having a child - my life has been a bit untidy.''
Mr Booth attended his first fathers-only play group with Shyla last Thursday.
''I am enjoying being a father. I am glad she is with me. I am helping her by singing to her and reading her books, and when I come home at night, she smiles when she hears my voice,'' he said.
Mr Tonks said many fathers at his parenting classes had had no responsible father figure themselves, and felt ''lost'' at how to be a good parent, particularly if embarking on the journey alone.
Jason Hodgson (46) has had 18-month-old Matty in his care since he was a newborn. Mr Hodgson and Matty get by on just $370 a week, provided by Work and Income, and try to participate in ''free'' activities such as the men's play group and feeding the ducks at the duck pond.
''When I got Matty, there was almost nothing for men - it was all for women by women, which is strange, because it's a changing scene out there. It's like reversing roles.''
Mr Hodgson, who is the longest attendee of the men's play group, said he attended principally so Matty could have some social interaction with children his own age.
''Kids learn from kids, eh? I crawled around for two months on the floor trying to teach him how to do it and then we came here and he saw another kid crawling and a day later he had it.''
Mr Tonks said if there continued to be more solo fathers needing social support, he would like to make the fathers-only play group once a week, and also incorporate ''practical'' activities such as day trips and construction projects.
''The men's group is informal, but it does work. The men do talk, in their own way.''
- by Eleanor Ainge Roy
