A is for Alcaraz, Carlos. The Spanish teen sensation has still not overtaken Novak Djokovic — the Serbian metronome won three of the four men’s grand slams, and has a record 24 — but Alcaraz had his moment in the sun when he took down Djokovic in an epic Wimbledon final.
B is for Boring. The Rugby World Cup final was ghastly. I’m sorry, Springboks fans, but your team is dreadful to watch.
C is for Cleary. Ivan (genius coach) and Nathan (genius halfback) somehow delivered a third consecutive NRL grand final win for the Penrith Panthers in one of the great finishes.
D is for Damar Hamlin. The sporting world held its breath on January 3 when the Buffalo Bills star suffered a cardiac arrest in an NFL game. He received treatment before being taken to hospital, later making a full recovery and returning to professional football.
E is for Eddie Jones. Oh, Eddie. Where to start? The bullish rugby coach made a compete hash of his second stint with the Wallabies with some utterly bizarre selections. Now back with Japan. Good luck!
F is for Freak. French basketball prodigy Victor Wembanyama — extremely tall and extremely lean — made his NBA debut for the San Antonio Spurs and is basically like nothing we have seen before. The Spurs are awful but the kid is going to be great.
G is for Golden Knights. The Las Vegas ice hockey team won the NHL’s Stanley Cup. It came just six years after they entered the league. Bodes well for the new Auckland football club, being bankrolled by the Golden Knights’ boss.
H is for Head, Travis. The Australian cricketers love spoiling a party — when they are not sledging other teams, or even each other — and they absolutely wrecked the World Cup for about a billion Indians. The unexpected hero was the dishevelled Head, who did not really expect to be a regular at the tournament, but produced a match-winning innings of 137 off 120 balls in the final.
I is for Incredible. There is nothing like minor-nation cricket. One of the best of the many cases in point was the SEA (South East Asia?) Games women’s T20 clash between the Philippines and Thailand in Phnom Penh in May. The Philippines batted first and grafted their way to . . . nine. Yes, nine. All out. Off 11 overs. Four batters top-scored with two, and Thipatcha Putthawong led the Thai attack with four for three off four overs. Thailand chased the target down in four balls.
J is for James, LeBron. He turns 39 today and is still going strong. An absolute modern marvel.
K is for Kaput. That summed up the title hopes of every driver, but one, in Formula 1 very soon after the season started. Max Verstappen won 19 of the 22 races to claim a third straight championship for Red Bull.
L is for Lecherous. The Fifa Women’s World Cup, co-hosted by New Zealand, was a spectacular event. Shame the wonderful football and a defining moment in women’s sport were nearly overshadowed by creepy Spanish official Luis Rubiales.
M is for Mega bucks. Spanish golfer Jon Rahm sold out to LIV (Seve would be rolling in his grave) for $NZ972 million. And Japanese baseballer Shohei Ohtani moved to the LA Dodgers in a 10-year, $NZ1.12 billion deal that will defer 97% of his salary.
N is for Neil Wagner. The veteran Black Caps bowler sent Kiwi cricket fans into utter delirium when he took three key wickets to seal an extraordinary one-run test win over England at the Basin Reserve.
O is for Obituaries. Sport again said farewell to plenty of great ones, starting with motorsport tearaway Ken Block on January 1. Football lost the great Sir Bobby Charlton, as well as Terry Venables and Just Fontaine. British Open announcer Ivor Robson did his last welcome to the tee, and Dick Fosbury did his last flop. American sporting greats who died included Bobby Hull, Willis Reed, Jim Brown, Brooks Robinson, Dick Butkus, Bobby Knight and George McGinnis. Two towering figures of women’s sport — diver Pat McCormick and golfer Betsy Rawls — died. Professional wrestling is not a sport but it had another rough year with the deaths of Terry Funk, Superstar Billy Graham, the Iron Sheik, Bray Wyatt, and our own Butch from the Bushwhackers. New Zealand sports identities who died included league great Des White, netball identities Robyn Broughton and Taini Jamison, racing royalty Sir Patrick Hogan, former All Blacks Bruce Robertson and Tane Norton, former North Otago and Blues rugby player Billy Guyton, woodchopper Jason Wynyard, journalism and Sports Hall of Fame doyen Ron Palenski and, most recently, legendary photographer Peter Bush.
P is for Pressure, cited by rugby referees Wayne Barnes and Tom Foley, who retired and quit respectively. Barnes and Foley both received "a torrent of criticism and abuse online" after the World Cup final.
Q is for Quotes. There were some good ones this year. US President Joe Biden made a major gaffe in Ireland when he referred to the Irish rugby team beating the "black and tans". He meant, of course, the All Blacks and not the British military force who terrorised the country in the 1920s. British runner Joasia Zakrzewski came up with a reasonable excuse when she was busted for using a car during a 50-mile race: "I was feeling unwell and spaced out and not thinking clearly." And while the winner of Badminton’s quote — "He’s an out-and-out event horse and it’s a privilege to have him in your life. He has character in every pore and makes us laugh every day." — was unexceptional, it is worth mentioning just so I can use her name: Rosalind Canter. Outstanding.
R is for Ryder Cup. The biennial golf event is always good for some drama. In this case, it was the Europeans smashing the Yanks in Rome, Swedish sensation Ludvig Aberg announcing himself on the world stage, and Scottie Scheffler crying.
S is for Silver Ferns. They were mostly awful in 2023. And news broke late in the year that Netball New Zealand was facing an uncertain future after its next broadcasting deal.
T is for tortoise. Nasra Abukar Ali become one of the unlikely stars of the year. She was given the nod — by her aunt, who doubles as the head of an athletics federation — to represent Somalia at the World University Games. Good on her for giving it a go — but a 100m time of 21.81sec suggested there was room for improvement.
U is for Up The Wahs. Out of nowhere, we found the most popular phrase in New Zealand sport. "Bring Back Buck", "Had-lee, clap clap clap", "Otaaaaggooo" and "We hate the Crusaders" are all but forgotten.
V is for VAR. It became a dirty three-letter word, much like TMO in rugby. VAR has done massive damage to football, and it needs to be scrapped.
W is for Welcome to Wrexham, the sports documentary of the year. Yes, even better than the Beckham doco.
X is for Twitter. Geddit? Football pundit Gary Lineker copped a suspension from the BBC for tweeting about the British government’s asylum policy. And Jason Paris, the chief executive of Warriors’ major sponsor OneNZ, got in strife after blasting biased NRL referees.
Y is for You must be joking. Some of us are still seething at how Hawke’s Bay treated the venerable Ranfurly Shield. Still think they should have had the Log o’ Wood taken from them.
Z is for Zero. It was the year of the world cup. And we couldn’t win a single one. Not one! The All Blacks, the Silver Ferns, the Tall Blacks, the Black Caps ... wait on. How could we forget! Yes, the New Zealand men’s underwater hockey team sailed (swam? dove? batted?) their way to world championship glory on the Gold Coast. Marvellous. It reminds me of the greatest intro to a sports story ever written. This was genius from my late colleague Alistair McMurran: "Before yesterday, I had not seen an underwater hockey game. I have still not seen an underwater hockey game."
