Giving birth to her first child, Lena, was a wonderful experience for Disa Walker.
TELL US YOUR STORY |
She wants the birth of second child, Ari, to be as rewarding, despite it leaving her mentally distressed and physically injured.
"I couldn't get rid of this horrible feeling I had been violated,'' Mrs Walker said.
"My whole body felt really disgusting and I couldn't feel parts of it, which was all to do with the trauma.''
Lena's birth was not easy, but Mrs Walker was helped by caring and respectful professionals.
However, Ari's birth was different, due to what Mrs Walker terms bullying and abusive behaviour by the obstetric registrar.
"Ari's heart rate was going really badly . . . he did need to be born really quickly, and I accept that was the case,'' Mrs Walker said.
The obstetrician arrived, checked Ari's heart rate, then did an examination.
"She wasn't nice or gentle, I didn't feel very good with her . . . then she said 'right, episiotomy and ventouse extraction, now' and I said 'No','' Mrs Walker said.
"Someone else said your baby has to be born, and I understand that he did . . . but I wanted options, it felt like there was time to be calm and discuss things.''
However, the episiotomy - cutting the vagina to assist childbirth - went ahead.
"When she did cut me, something in my body just cracked - I can't really explain it,'' Mrs Walker said.
Ventouse (suction cups) were used to get Ari out.
"She started screaming, like screaming and screaming, at me to push, but no proper instructions,'' Mrs Walker said.
"With Lena's birth everybody told me what they wanted me to do and all I had to do was follow the instructions, but she was just screaming at me that I wasn't pushing properly.
"She then hit me somewhere really hard inside my vagina - because of the drugs I couldn't really tell where - and she was screaming push down here, push down here.''
Mrs Walker felt she had been treated badly, and learned she was not alone - a friend said the story sounded similar to someone she knew.
"Babies can't stay in there forever, I know they have to come out, but she came rushing in, she was full on and straight in there and started yelling at me, 'push push push push push'.
"When I pushed she just snapped 'that's ineffective pushing, no baby is going to come out that way' and putting me down . . . it was my first baby, I didn't know what I was doing.
"She was so aggressive, her face was so angry and terrifying.''
Ms A said there was no need to hurry, but felt she had to push as hard as she could.
"She rushed me. . . it turned it in to an anxious, traumatic experience where I didn't really know what was going on.
"If someone had spoken to me like that in everyday life I would probably have punched them in the face or something . . . but at that time you listen because you are so vulnerable and they obviously know more than you.''
The birth left Ms A with a third degree vaginal tear, an injury she believes would not have happened with a gentler approach.
Ms A intends complaining to the SDHB.
She has since had a second baby, by Caesarean due to the damage caused delivering her first child.
"Knowing Disa's story makes me feel empowered and feel that I want to write to the DHB because I know I will be heard,'' Ms A said.
Mrs Walker and Ms A were seen by the same registrar, two years apart.
They are speaking out as they believe other women would have experienced similar treatment.
"It's not just about my obstetrician,'' Mrs Walker said.
"I know from talking to other friends that they have had to deal with comments from other people who are not kind.''
In response to Mrs Walker's complaint the registrar said she had a loud and clear voice, important in an emergency situation, but which she understood Mrs Walker had found to be stressful and aggressive.
"I acknowledge Mrs Walker and her husband's experience,'' she wrote.
"I am sorry that in my well-intentioned actions I was making them feel so disempowered and traumatised.''
Mrs Walker felt the SDHB's response to her complaint was inadequate and complained again.
After the second complaint the SDHB contacted Mrs Walker, met with her, and put changes in place which she is pleased meet the objectives she had when complaining.
