Father of two Scott Harris (37) is one of two New Zealanders - the other thought to be from Southland - who were on the Gulf Livestock 1, with 41 other crew.
The ship capsized off the coast of Japan last week amid strong winds and heavy seas whipped up by Typhoon Maysak.
Three crew have been rescued so far, one of whom died soon after being found.
Japan's coastguard on Saturday suspended its search for the remaining crew owing to bad weather from a second typhoon.
The coastguard said today its search-and-rescue mission remained suspended, and there was no time set for a resumption.
Harris was working as the herd manager of the almost 6000 cattle on board the ship.
His mother, Karen Adrian, said the family had not given up hope of finding him alive, but time was ticking and she wanted the government to help with the search and rescue efforts.
She said it was her son's maiden voyage and she just wants him found and brought home.
"He is the most loyal kindest loving son that any mum could want, you know he still says 'I love you' when he leaves me, you know he's just gorgeous really, popular, lots of friends."
She said it has been awful for the family.
"It's just horrendous, it's heart-breaking, it's unfair, it's lonely."
"I know Jacinda [Ardern] was up there saying that she understands that there's support in place; that is not true, we have not heard from the government at all, not nothing.
"You know we need help, I've got questions I need to have asked, 'why aren't we in there helping' 'how do I get to Japan' 'should I not go?', you know we're just alone out here with no support."
Adrian said she had a lot of questions she wanted answered about what happened on the boat.
"They must know that, so what are the protocols, can I get a a translation of the second survivor's testimony?
"I want to know what the sequence of events were according to those two survivors, the timeframe, like after the engine failed, which it did, how long did it take before the emergency systems were activated ... when were they told to put their lifejackets on, were they told to abandon ship - can they confirm all that happened?"
She said the survivors could answer these questions.
Adrian said two lifeboats were visible: one was in the water but she wanted to know whether the other managed to get off the ship.
She also wanted to know whether or not they had found the boat.
She asks what sort of training was given on board to deal with such an emergency, since her son would not have had a clue what to do, given it was his maiden voyage.
Adrian wants to know how long they are going to keep looking and why New Zealand has not deployed a search and rescue squad to help, but said she was told by MFAT that they had to be invited.
"Why aren't we saying 'we're coming' there are two New Zealanders in the South China Sea who need help and we're doing nothing about that.
"I just think it's appalling, I know there's been two typhoons, I know the chances are slim, but there's still a chance, you know they could be in that other lifeboat."
RNZ was put in contact with Karen Adrian by National's Simon Bridges.
- additional reporting Reuters
