Peter Richard Holmes, 38, appeared in front of the Parole Board yesterday — a hearing attended by the Otago Daily Times — where his description of the 2011 attack on 23-year-old Jamie Ellis was aired for the first time.
"I was doing the wrong thing for the right reason," the Rimutaka Prison inmate said.
"I felt like I was entitled to punish the person. I know I wasn’t. I know I had no right to do what I did."
Holmes had a bed lined up at a release facility but board chairman Sir Ron Young said there was more work for the killer to do before he could be safely paroled.
The inmate admitted he was "terrified" of life on the outside.
"So much has changed and I’ve made expectations of myself, and my family have expectations of me and I don’t want to let anybody, myself included, down," Holmes said.
At his sentencing in 2012, the court heard Holmes had gone to a party in Oamaru where a female associate informed him Mr Ellis, who was also in attendance, had sexually assaulted her.
He said he took it upon himself to "effectively be the hero".
With the promise of a drinking session, Holmes lured the man, whom he had never met before, into a vehicle and they drove to Dunedin.
After stealing a car, he drove to Warrington, picked up two friends and the brutal attack took place.
Despite the prolonged prelude to the incident, Holmes told the Parole Board murder was not on his mind.
"I planned to confront him and assault him and that was as far as I intended for it to go but the use of the weapons was what took it too far," he said.
"There’s no justification for what I did. I understand that."
Holmes was unrecognisable from the man who stood in the dock at sentencing in 2012 — shaved head and eyebrows — and a supporter told the board his attitude had also shifted.
One supporter told the board he had done everything possible to move away from his former life.
"It’s time for him to move on and to prove to you guys that he’s 100% a changed man," she said.
"He’s done everything, he’s changed."
Holmes had been working on the prison grounds, outside the wire, for the last two months and had not committed any misconduct since 2017.
Sir Ron, though, noted a history of crime which stretched to 120 convictions.
"That’s an incredible record for someone that’s still young. It’d be one of the worst I’ve seen for someone your age," he said.
"You’ve got a lifetime of dishonesty and lying to people and cheating people."
Holmes acknowledged previous fraud crimes, which he said had been driven by the desire to maintain relationships and provide partners with material goods.
Sir Ron said there was a clear link between that conduct and the murder.
"It’s people-pleasing, isn’t it? Pretty worrying that, because it’s in-built in you. It’s gone on for years and years."
For the Parole Board to have more confidence in releasing Holmes, he may need to be transferred to another prison which provided self-care units and Release to Work opportunities, Sir Ron said.
"It’s about you being tested in situations where you have more freedom."
Holmes will see the board again in July next year.
