I recently spent a weekend in Wanaka with the Casanova. It’s getting harder and harder to do this - the rampant cost of living doesn’t favour long-distance lovers. I’ve got rips in my knickers and putting petrol in the car used every last cent I had, but he promised to feed me.
It’s simply not statistically possible that every family at every table had the snit with each other, so what was going on? Why are Wanaka people (the ones who live there all the time and own a house) miserable as sin? Why does everyone have a face like a slapped arse? Is it similar to the Dunedin Sound era, where it was cool to look aloof and turn your back on the audience? So many questions.
Walking down Helwick St, snow-capped mountains ringing the lake, amid a landscape of astonishing beauty, groups of glum white folks wearing expensive winter leisurewear moped about next to white Range Rovers and white BMWs, all of them wretched, looking like they’d just found half a mouse in their artisanal pie.
While the rest of the country struggles with the astronomical cost of putting food in their family’s mouths, here in rich people land, where you’d think there would be plenty to be smug about, nobody is smiling, except for the model on the advertisement in the chemist window for teeth bleacher.
Could Wanaka’s morose spiritual inversion layer be a manifestation of the psychology of affluence (as distinct from the psychology of effluence, which is when your neighbour discharges poo on to your section for months, despite repeated instructions from an environmental agency not to)?
Research carried out at Purdue University in 2018 showed that the richer we get the unhappier we become. Not to begin with, though. On average, people who make more money are happier, but that happiness stops once they reach a certain income. This is when, as Notorious BIG pointed out, you get to a point where ‘‘Mo money mo problems’’ begins.
Once people go over a certain net worth, they tend to experience less life satisfaction. Wealth is isolating, as having more possessions makes us want to distance ourselves from others so they don’t nick them. Also, we don’t need other people to enrich our lives as much, cos we’ve got all the streaming services, or listen to us whinge about the bills we have to pay, so the wealthier we get, the less social connectedness. Potlucks and rent parties, events where everyone brings a plate to share so there’s enough for everyone, are really things that unwealthy people do, making them more dialled into the lives of others, and mentally healthier.
There’s a toxic ‘‘keeping up with the Joneses’’ at play when your neighbour’s house is worth five million and yours only $1.5, and money is all anyone ever talks about. A Harvard paper showed that comparing yourself with others had a crowding-out effect, making it hard to be grateful for what you already have. It’s difficult to be thankful for having food on the table when all you can think about is your neighbour, who eats a gourmet dinner every night.
Accumulating more money will not make you happier in the long run. The only way to feel good about yourself and your financial situation is to stop comparing yourself with other people. Focus on your own goals and don’t worry about how much money other people have. Success is relative, just like liberty. Ask any American woman.
Naturally, it gladdens my heart to know the very rich are unhappy. They don’t have to be, of course - they could always give some of their money away. To me, for starters. I could really do with some new knickers.
