Dr Snook was in Dunedin this week for the launch of her new book Brothers and Sisters: Coping with Loss and Grief.
The University of Auckland dance studies lecturer lost her son to a drug overdose more than 20 years ago. Several years later, in 2007, her husband and daughter were killed by cancer, within six months of each other.
The book has chapters written by Dr Snook and by others who have had someone close to them die. It was written primarily for young people who have lost siblings, but "should appeal to anyone who has suffered a loss", Dr Snook says.
Dr Snook (72) says the trauma of loss, post traumatic stress, can cause physical, emotional and social symptoms.
There is no one right way to deal with grief. But finding helpful ways to explore the negative symptoms can lead to post traumatic growth, she says.
"The key here appears to be in developing an awareness around the event, along with a willingness to face pain and trauma with openness and flexibility.
"They begin to use their negative experience to build something positive and constructive in their life."
Dr Snook suggests a variety of activities that can assist the growth process:
• Writing: letters, poetry, blogs, stories, articles, songs
• Talking: to family, friends, a counsellor, as a guest speaker, in drama about grief and loss ...
• Learn mindfulness and meditation
• Making things
• Physical exercise
• Healthy eating
• Changing your thinking so you live without regrets
For Dr Snook, growth came from applying for a Caroline Plummer Fellowship in Community Dance, at the University of Otago, in 2008.
After the six-month fellowship she realised she did not want to return to secondary school teaching. She began PhD studies that led to an academic career as well as a growth in her confidence and abilities.
"While I would give anything to have my children and my partner back in my life, and would happily trade it for all I have achieved since their deaths, I do need to acknowledge that the post traumatic growth is a positive outcome following their passing."
• Brothers and Sisters: Coping with Loss and Grief by Barbara Snook, can be ordered online through Glass House Books.
