It is already a quarter to 10. At 10am, student leader Melissa Lama has her next appointment. And then another.
A few days ago, she completed her MBA. By all rights, Lama should be taking a breather. Instead, the New Zealand-born Tongan, wife, mother of two, former representative athlete, community advocate and political studies graduate has already picked up the mantle of Otago University Student Association (OUSA) president, even as she continues part-time work on a global research project and contemplates starting a PhD exploring youth resilience.
But right in this moment, Lama sits smiling, eyes sparkling, sipping a latte and talking openly about passions, struggles and aspirations — as though past, present and future were one and she had all the time in the world.
Students are flowing back in to Dunedin, fresh from a study-free summer. That, however, has not been Lama’s experience — not for many years, she says, seated in the cavernous University Link, hands cupping her steaming coffee on a fresh Dunedin morning.
Before coming to Dunedin to study, she worked in the public service sector, in Christchurch, as an adviser for the Ministry of Pacific People’s and as a contractor to various other government departments. When she did start undergraduate studies in political science, Lama kept working (for the Ministry of Social Development) to help pay the bills. To complete the degree in three years, she flagged summer holidays in favour of Summer School papers.
The final few weeks were intense, she says.
"It was six papers over three weeks.
"When I walked out [upon completion] I started crying. Because, the number of times I almost dropped out ..."
It is all so different from the trajectory many would have thought her life would take.
Lama was born in Auckland, in April, 1994, to her mother Aloi Vea and her father who "wasn’t really around".
Lama and her twin brother were the youngest of four siblings. She was the only girl.
When Lama was 3, the family of five hastily moved to Christchurch.
"We had some immigration issues that meant we needed to run quite a lot."
For five years, they shared one bedroom and one queen-sized bed in a former rest-home that housed a dozen Tongan migrant families.
"We walked everywhere and bussed everywhere ... If we needed shopping, we all walked there in the rain. Mum used to get really upset about the fact that this was our situation, but we loved it."
At school, academia did not seem to be Lama’s forte. She finished year 13 with only NCEA Level 1.
Sports was a different story. At the age of 13, she was awarded a sports scholarship to prestigious St Margaret’s College, Christchurch. Lama went on to represent Canterbury in basketball, netball, volleyball and athletics.
It was through volleyball that Lama met McCallum, of Maori-Scottish heritage, who was raised by a Samoan family, in Christchurch.
They were in the same sporting circles from when Lama was 15. But McCallum, three years older, did not speak to her until her next birthday; until she was what he considered a more appropriate age.
"He talked to me on my 16th birthday ... That’s the type of person he is."
Soon after they started dating, McCallum converted to Islam.
Lama was 17 when they married, at the Al Noor Mosque, Christchurch.
"I’ve never been very religious, even with Christianity," Lama admits.
"I’ve always questioned a lot of things. Not because I don’t believe it. But in order to get me on board ... In terms of my own spiritual journey, I’m very different.
"One thing I’ve appreciated about the Muslim community is that they take me for who I am."
The couple’s first child was born in 2012, the second two years later.
On the afternoon of March 15, 2019, McCallum was in Christchurch, on his way to Friday prayers. But when Eesa fell asleep in the car, he diverted to drop his son off at his mother-in-law’s home. By the time McCallum arrived at the mosque the terrorist shootings had already happened.
Lama was a member of the reference group for the Royal Commission of Inquiry in to the mosque attacks that killed 51 people.
"We don’t often talk about it. Our friends lost family," she says.
Lama now says she was too young to get married.
"I didn’t even know what marriage was. I just thought I knew what I was doing. Which I don’t recommend."
On the positive side, Lama says, she and McCallum have been able to grow up together.
"It comes with some challenges, but we are lucky that we are both quite mature.
"We had to grow up quite quick — he was adopted, I had my own stuff. So, we had to make a lot of decisions at a young age, which matures you."
Lama is, in her own words, loud, energetic, empathetic; a people person who wears her emotions on her sleeve.
Her past explains much of her present.
Lama started studying because she wanted others to have a better experience than she and her mother had.
"Trying to access health services and ... the issues with immigration policies drove me to see where I could do better for our communities."
Lama says that, like many other New Zealand children of past decades whose parents spoke English as a second language, she became a translator at the age of 5.
"Mum was so flustered ... It was horrible ... I would sit and study the form.
"I didn’t want anyone to feel the way my Mum felt going through those bureaucratic systems.
"I don’t want any young person to experience what I did ... It was a lot to carry."
Her study and work choices have all been towards that end.
"It is all strategic. It’s not necessarily something I want to study, but it’s the best way to position me to be most effective for my community."
She wanted to do a Masters in Politics, but instead chose an MBA to broaden her skill set.
"Everything I do is for something bigger than myself ... I just want to be as useful as possible."
That includes the OUSA presidency.
Lama has clearly been making moments to consider the role.
The president is a linchpin in the relationship between students and the university, she says. As president, she also needs to lead the student executive in such a way that it is able to serve the students. And she needs to engage with students in as many ways as possible.
She will have done well, she says, if she can look back on 2022 knowing she has listened and acted on behalf of students and encouraged them to get involved.
"Students know what they need to succeed. [The question will be] have I done enough to provide that support in order for them to succeed?
"Civics education is a huge one for me. I believe that mobilising young people’s voices on issues that really matter is the best way forward."
This year, like previous ones, will be deliberately planted with the seed of future years.
Lama will continue her part-time Auckland University research assistant work.
Despite knowing a brief respite from study makes healthy sense, she thinks she will begin a PhD, in Pasifika youth resilience, through the University of Otago, in the second half of the year.
"I don’t want to say I’m definitely going to do it, because I kind of want to have a break, but I think I will."
Further in to the future, Lama would like to move in to consulting.
"I’d like to look at how business sustainability could help grassroots communities ... how they could thrive without having to rely too much on government funding."
It is two minutes to 10. Time is almost up. Sitting next to Lama, the OUSA marketing manager-cum-president’s EA is, naturally, looking at her watch. But still Lama sits answering questions, fully engaged.
All your effort, all your service — is it a drag, a weight? Do you wake up each morning just wishing you could go back to sleep?
No, but she does deliberately choose a positive mindset, Lama says.
"Before I get up I always think about my day, what I have on.
"And I assess my mindset. My boys are about to wake up, and however I start will influence them."
The thought of being productive motivates her.
"I get really pumped to see what I can get done in the day."
It is such a strong drive that she needs to regularly remind herself to temper her expectations.
"And then I say, if it’s not productive that’s OK. I always try to tell myself to be kind [to myself] ... because I get annoyed when I don’t think I’ve done enough."
Lama’s urge to achieve is in response to a period of mental ill-health that came to a head in 2018.
Having children and no longer playing representative sport had caused a spiral that included weight gain and a loss of self-confidence.
"For a good year and a-half I hid away ... It was horrible."
With her health in serious danger, Lama sought medical and psychological help.
"From those experiences of not feeling enough, I decided I wasn’t going to let myself get to that place anymore. I think that’s why I’m so driven, but sometimes too driven."
She still sees a counsellor, every few weeks.
"That’s probably how I relax."
The mental battle is a frank admission, not required but freely offered, making the most of every opportunity.
"I’m always open about that. I think it’s important to normalise it."
Everything is poured in to the present because, driven by a past Lama wants to eradicate, each moment is a stepping stone to the future she is determined to create, for herself and others.
