WWE Smackdown v Raw 2011
4 stars (out of 5)
For: Xbox 360, PS3, PS2, PSP, Wii
From: THQ
For example, I have occasionally watched Coronation St and not recoiled in horror.
I once played a whole season as Chelsea on a Fifa video game. I can't change a tyre or a washer. I lived in Timaru for a year. My favourite sports star of all time is an Australian cricketer.
But I suppose nothing compares to the big one, a 20-year interest that has waxed and waned but this year has staged a big comeback. Brace yourself for these seven words:
I am a fan of professional wrestling.
Yes, as well as being a sports editor, and a husband and father, and a voracious reader, and an admirer of the compositions of Brahms (all right, that one might be a slight fib), I enjoy watching steroid-pumped behemoths in tight underpants engage in play-fighting and taunting.
They were the glory days of Hulk Hogan and Macho Man and Hacksaw Jim Duggan and Andre The Giant and Demolition and the Bushwhackers.
I was hooked. Soon there were wrestling figures on my bookshelf, wrestling magazines sourced from J T Adams bookshop, wrestling photos and stories clipped and pasted into a scrapbook, and dreams of wrestling moves like the DDT and the sleeper hold being performed on my older brother.
Like milkshakes, Beverly Hills 90210 and schoolgirls, wrestling lost its allure once I got a little older and a little wiser. Its death was hastened when the "Attitude Era" was introduced, and old-fashioned grappling was replaced by a sordid mix of foul mouths, obscene gestures and scantily-dressed women.
For whatever reason, possibly the invention of MySky, I gave wrestling another chance a year ago. And ... quite liked it.
I still groan at the sight of the "divas" and some of the more outlandish behaviour, and I am well aware the fights are completely staged. But I appreciate the athleticism of the (less steroid-soaked than before) wrestlers, and enjoy following the good guy-bad guy storytelling elements. Heck, even my favourite wrestler of all time, Bret "The Hitman" Hart, has popped back in occasionally.
So, after the most long-winded introduction to a review in recent history, a few thoughts on new wrestling game Smackdown v Raw 2011:
• The wrestlers look great, move naturally and can easily be controlled. There are 60-plus real wrestlers, or you can create your own and level him up RPG-style.
• There are hundreds of options, difficulty settings and match styles.
• A "Road to Wrestlemania" mode, which involves a lot of walking around backstage picking fights, is a bit cumbersome but almost works.
• A huge "WWE Universe" mode features a realistic schedule, a fluid ranking system, the ability to build alliances and create enemies. It is really well done, as good as anything in other sports games.
• Great online modes include a 12-man "Royal Rumble".
If I'm honest, playing SvR 2011 is actually more fun than watching the real (well, sort of real) thing.
And really, there's no shame in doing either.
