Get ready for the bigger, longer and better (er, really?) Super 15. Hayden Meikle offers an A to Z of the new season.
A is for Adam Ashley-Cooper, the long-serving Brumbies utility back who has transferred to the Waratahs. Remember that great line years ago when he scored a sizzling try against the Highlanders: "Ashley went one way, Cooper went the other, and the Highlanders tackled the hyphen."
B is for Break. The Super 15 enters uncharted territory in June when it takes a three-week hiatus for test matches to be played.
C is for Colours, as in many are tipping a final between the colours: Reds v Blues.
D is for De Kock Steenkamp, which I think is the best name in the competition. Honourable mentions: Chiliboy Ralepelle, Coenie Oosthuizen, Jerry Yanuyanutawa, Fritz Lee, Reg Goodes, Napolioni Nalaga and Gouws Prinsloo.
E is for Expansion. Ugh, shudder. The Super 12 turned into the Super 14, which turned into the Super 15, which appears to be destined to become a Super 16 or Super 18 or Super 20. Just stop it, please.
F is for Force, which is what peerless flanker David Pocock might have to use to get out of his contract with the Perth-based, wooden spoon-destined team of the same name.
G is for Goosen, first name Johan. The word on this rising Cheetahs star is that he has the biggest boot in world rugby, eagerly accepting penalty attempts from 65m.
H is for Hosea, Hore and Haskell. Three rather decent recruits for the Highlanders, you might say. If Hosea Gear can score 12-15 tries, if Andrew Hore can be at his punishing best in the tight-loose, and if James Haskell can replicate his international form in all three loose forward positions, we'll all be happy.
I is for Israel Dagg. Classy.
J is for Journey. Will John Mitchell lead the struggling Lions into a golden age?
K is for King. This status will be formally bestowed on both Jamies, Joseph and Mackintosh, if they can break the Highlanders' decade-long playoff drought.
L is for Lionel (Ritchie), Elton (John) and Waylon (Jennings), three members of a musical Lions backline. Real surnames: Mapoe, Jantjies and Murray.
M is for the Mighty Midget from Manawatu. All Black first five Aaron Cruden takes his talents to Chiefs country.
N is for No, thanks. What referee Bryce Lawrence said when offered one or two games in South Africa.
O is for Over-rated. What makes you think I am referring to the Initialled One in the Chiefs midfield?
P is for Piri Weepu, the much-loved Billy Bunter of New Zealand rugby who has fled the Hurricanes (wise decision) and will be the man to watch in the Blues this season.
Q is for Quade. Such an uber-villain he does not need a last name. Expect him to again be a pivotal figure for the Reds when he returns from injury.
R is for Rene Ranger. Classy.
S is for Superugby. Yes, condensing "Super" and "rugby" into one word. The officials would like the media to call the competition that ghastly word.
T is for Tom and Tyler. Young Taylor and Bleyendaal are among the next generation of Crusaders stars.
U is for Uys, as in the Cheetahs' loose forward, called Francois. He has the equal-shortest surname in the Super 15, and (presumably) the only one starting with U. Very useful for an A to Z.
V is for Veterans. Rebels midfielder Stirling Mortlock, Force lock Nathan Sharpe, Reds No8 Radike Samo and Highlanders hookers Jason Rutledge and Andrew Hore lead the oldies brigade.
W is for Whitelocks. Four of them, all in the Crusaders.
X is for X-factor. But can Kurtley Beale and James O'Connor turn the Rebels from mediocre to magnificent?
Y is for Yawn. It will be difficult to suppress one when watching any of the following games: Force-Rebels, Cheetahs-Lions, Chiefs-Brumbies, Bulls-Lions, Cheetahs-Bulls, Rebels-Brumbies ...
Z is for Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz. Don't tell me you won't be rugby-ed out by the end of week 21.
