Don’t clock out early. Time can be awfully relative under the roof. Like during the "clock game" in 2012 when the Highlanders were leading the Crusaders 27-24. The home side kicked for touch twice expecting the final whistle. The crowd had got all the way down to zero during the countdown and were rewarded with anxiety rather than jubilation. Unfortunately no-one remembered to stop the clock for injury breaks and there was still three minutes to go.
If you start saving now, you should have a 10% deposit together in time to buy a beer and carton of chips at the game.
You won’t need your umbrella (well, except for the walk to and from the stadium in the absence of any public transport), but pack your thermals. It is a roofed outdoor stadium and it can be very draughty.
The view is lousy, but the Zoo has to be one of the best places to take in all the colour. And by colour we mean watching a fully-grown man dance around in chicken suit. Compulsive viewing, really. You can also throw your beer in the air with impunity.
Enjoy the walk. The DCC has removed all parking in the city to make room for cycle lanes which support on average one lycra-clad boomer per day. If you are coming from Christchurch, you might want to park up in Hornby and stroll the rest of the way.
Actually, if you are coming from Christchurch then you might want to take a tour of the stadium since all you’ve got is a wind-swept paddock in Addington with a dozen advertising hoardings scattered about.
Speaking of a dozen, that is about how many Super Rugby titles the Crusaders have won. But the number that steals all the headlines is the $700million price tag for the covered 30,000-seat stadium they’ve got planned.
— Brought to you by embittered sports reporter Adrian Seconi
