The man rated by some as the player of the match - Highlanders halfback Jimmy Cowan - was trying to convince himself he was good enough to be there when he ran on to Eden Park on Saturday night.
Cowan, who has attracted attention in the past few months for events off the field rather than on it, helped the All Blacks to a stunning 39-10 win against Australia.
The victory - and the style with which it was achieved - had critics reaching for superlatives a week after the All Blacks were brutally criticised for losing their previous two tests.
The win ranked alongside four others as one of the most dominant All Blacks performances in the professional era: v Australia (43-6 in 1996), v South Africa (28-0 in 1999), v France (45-6 in 2004) and v the Lions (48-18 in 2005).
All Blacks coach Graham Henry, under immense pressure before the game, described his team's performance as "pretty special".
"A lot of people were under a lot of pressure and they are pretty relieved.
The side played some special rugby," Henry said.
Cowan, in just his second starting test, had his best game in the black jersey, combining well with key man Dan Carter and choosing the right options.
He admitted the fact the selectors had shown faith in him had passed through his mind.
"But first and foremost it is about me realising I'm good enough to be here," Cowan said.
Friends and family had been extremely supportive during the past eight weeks, he said.
Cowan has been arrested three times since April on disorderly behaviour charges, and faced a NZRU misconduct hearing last month, where an alcohol ban was imposed on him.
The 26-year-old spent most of the night before Saturday's test match icing an injured knee.
The injury - a strained ligament - prevented him training on Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday and worried him all week.
"I kept that to myself.
But I took a couple of pills and it came out all right," he said.
"I felt it a bit in the warm-up, but as soon as the game kicked off I didn't feel it at all."
He was happy with his game but said it was easier than it could have been with the All Black tight five setting a good platform.
All Blacks assistant coach Wayne Smith praised Cowan, saying he linked well.
"I thought he was super, considering what he has been through this year and in the past couple of months, plus the injury," Smith said.
"He showed an amazing amount of guts, and he executed the game plan well with Daniel [Carter]."
