Socks, sex and splits. Now I've got your attention.
Trying to find sports results for women's teams and athletes is often similar to searching for a matching pair of socks, in a highly disorganised drawer with the lights turned off.
You know they're in there somewhere, but the searching process is labour-intensive and frustrating.
Finding a pair of glow-in-the-dark neon socks, however, is easy, and every now and then there are female athletes, coaches and teams that shine no matter what the circumstances.
Valerie Vili and Kirsten Hellier have been a pair of well-fitting bright socks for so long that Vili's announcement they were divorcing was both shocking and emotional.
Many coach-athlete relationships are dysfunctional (the Ian Ferguson-Ben Fouhy kayaking relationship springs to mind), while others go on for years even though holes have worn through or one person has outgrown the other.
Vili and Hellier are staying silent on who instigated the split, which indicates their mutual respect for each other.
But from the interviews and reactions, it looks like Hellier initiated discussions regarding their growing unease and indifference as coach-athlete.
Hellier should be commended for putting her ego aside and knowing when to say "when" as a coach.
It makes perfect sense that it is time for Vili to hear a new voice if she is to continue her growth.
It also sounds like financial and career reasons may have motivated Hellier to go it alone (a sad indication of the plight of New Zealand coaches), and Vili will be well looked after as coaches all over the world clamber over each other to mentor this amazing athlete.
New Zealand also appears to produce successful female cyclists with ease.
One such athlete, Lauren Ellis, pulled off a gutsy effort in Copenhagen to win silver in the points race at the world track cycling championships, making her the heroine of the hour.
Carrying on with the sock analogy, silver always makes a pair of socks stand out.
Further digging also reveals that the female version of the Black Sticks are set to play three games against Argentina.
Both teams, however, appear to be lacking in baubles and sparkle - that is, experienced players and stars - and the Black Sticks may be way out of their league against the Argentinians.
It will be difficult to gain any media coverage at a time when David Tua, the 2011 Rugby World Cup, cricket, football and the only prominent female sport, netball, take up so much space in the sport media slot.
Other female teams end up being forgotten at the bottom of the sock drawer.
The Aotearoa Maori women's sevens team, for instance, received a last-minute invitation to the Hong Kong sevens tournament but failed to beat the Aussie Amazons, who went on to beat China 26-0 in the final.
Many people are unaware that this team is not an official New Zealand team, and players have to pay their own way with little time to fundraise or physically prepare for the gruelling event.
New Zealand needs to pull its socks up with regards to both women's and men's teams if we are to remain competitive in sevens at the Olympics.
We can no longer rely on our rugby culture to ensure we rise to the top.
Past and present examples have demonstrated that Kiwi women are great competitors on the world stage if given the chance and right preparation.
Let's make an effort to dig a little deeper and give New Zealand's hard-working female athletes and teams the support and attention they deserve.
How many other Helliers and Vilis are there sitting in dark and dank corners of Aotearoa, waiting to be discovered, supported or acknowledged?
