Speaking your mind in a public way seems to be more and more acceptable these days. The stiff upper lip is losing ground to the loose-lipped, highly-emotive outbursts that tend to be expressed via tweets, emails, and video blogs. As a lecturer, I find more and more students are expressing their disappointment with their assignment marks via email, by phone, or in online forum discussions.
I don't think my method of marking has deteriorated over the years (maybe it has?) but the frequency of requests for re-marks, re-considerations, and acknowledgement of student effort and entitlement to a better mark has.
I put it down to a combination of a trend towards no longer accepting final decisions as final and a wider acceptance and ability to express our individual thoughts and feelings in a forum that is easily accessible yet remote from face-to-face confrontation.
In sport, athletes are becoming the front-line communicators their followers want to hear from and they want that interaction now. Some players in the Warriors club, for instance, reacted negatively to the announcement that Matt Elliot and not the player-backed Tony Iro would be the head coach and tweeted their disappointment quite openly as soon as the news broke. How do they think this will impact on their relationship with the new coach?
Elliot responded with a measured statement that he saw the support for Iro as a positive statement and as a sign that players can develop a high level of trust and loyalty.
He also suggested he might be keen to work with Tony Iro in an assistant role. This rally between players and coach may be the start of many clashes to come, but perhaps that is what the Warriors need to get back on track.
For other coaches, there may be more to winning over players than verbal warfare or agreements. It seems a handshake didn't seal the deal for John Kirwan recently as he bade farewell to another experienced player heading south. We are all familiar with JK's honesty and "heart on his sleeve" way of communicating.
It has been an effective tool in terms of increasing the awareness of men's depression, and has encouraged many staunch (and not so staunch) Kiwi men to reach out for help.
Is this highly expressive and transparent style of communication as effective in the role of a head Super rugby coach?
His candid reaction to Ma'a Nonu's signing with the Highlanders was great fodder for media but probably raised a few eyebrows among rugby stalwarts. Kirwan's uncensored expression of disappointment about Nonu's decision was so different from the stoic, cliched, dead-pan response we usually get from rugby coaches, it took me and, I imagine, a few others by surprise.
Here is a coach who is not afraid to express himself, and perhaps that is due to the fact that he has gone through something as difficult as depression and learnt that bottling things up tends not to be a healthy approach to life.
All the successful head coaches in rugby union, however, tend to be cool, calm and collected with the odd high five, fist pump or nose rub indicating what strong emotions lie beneath. Will this part of JK's personality slowly be suppressed in the Super rugby environment, or will the institution embrace such a breath of fresh air?
Is JK's response to Nonu's departure just another sign of people not accepting their fate and feeling the need to gain retribution by going public with the drama rather than keeping it private?
Someone once said to me "words are like toothpasteonce they're squeezed out there is no way to push them back in again".
Players are slowly learning this the hard way but the younger guard of coaches such as Lam, Hammett and JK are still learning the ropes. Will they end up looking shiny and sparkly as a result of their outbursts or will they come away looking like a crazed person frothing at the mouth?
It is early days yet, but one thing is for sure, I'd say it might be a while before the tweet-savvy Nonu and active-relaxer Kirwan are able to communicate in a civil manner.
