The closing ceremony in Paris puts the Olympics on hold until Los Angeles in 2028. PHOTO: GETTY IMAGES
Now what?
Withdrawal symptoms. They simply must be withdrawal symptoms.
Every four years, The Last Word goes through the same routine.
The post-Olympic funk is real, my friends.
Happily, the Paralympics are just around the corner — and we have Otago superstars Holly Robinson and Anna Grimaldi to follow — because the Rugby Championship, the America’s Cup and US Open really cannot compare.
You are dreaming
A woman I know feels she could qualify for the Olympic Games in something if she starts training now and dedicates herself to her new pursuit for the next four years.
No.
No chance.
Absolutely no chance at all, sorry.
But I did see a recent survey of British people, and learned a staggering 27% of them felt they could qualify for a sport at the 2028 Los Angeles Olympics.
The "easiest" sports would be air rifle shooting, archery and badminton, these clearly drunk people thought.
Razor on the edge
Here are some questions.
1. What will the reaction be if the All Blacks lose to the Pumas again tonight?
2. Is the Scott Robertson pixie dust already starting to wear off?
3. How many players in this All Blacks team would be anywhere near the discussion for a World XV?
4. Wouldn’t the backline look better with Will Jordan at fullback and Cortez Ratima at halfback?
5. Could Sam Darry be something quite special?
6. Do the Pumas finally have everybody’s respect now?
Wrong, wrong, wrong
Your columnist recently made it crystal clear where he stood on the bizarre influx of Australians and other foreigners into the NPC.
It just should not be happening.
So, no bouquet this week for Otago, who rushed in an Australian utility back and a Japanese-Tongan loose forward to plug a couple of holes.
This is not necessarily a barb at Otago — they have injuries and a lack of depth, and a union that has been financially quite parsimonious in recent years would not be splashing the cash on imports if they did not believe they could add something.
But it does not sit well on me at all to see unions in a low-key domestic competition shipping in foreign players.
Bring on a future national championship that is essentially amateur and involves only players beavering away in local competitions or Kiwis who have come home.
Football returns
Ah, the Premier League is back.
Talk about withdrawal symptoms — it has been a long 23 days since the Euro 2024 final.
Some predictions ahead of the new season:
— Manchester City will win a fifth straight title. Yawn. But then Pep will go and the league will finally have the stomach to pursue the 115 charges of financial doping and enjoy life in the third division, lads.
— Arsenal will flirt with the idea of glory again ... and finish second again.
— Aston Villa will finish third. They are the real deal.
— Liverpool will be fourth (sigh) then face almighty upheaval with the god Mo Salah leaving and Trent Alexander-Arnold eyed up by Real Madrid.
— Erik ten Hag will be sacked by Manchester United by Christmas.
— Brighton could be a wildcard.
— Ipswich have done incredibly well to earn back-to-back promotions but their stay in the top tier will be brief.
— Erling Haaland to win the Golden Boot with 31 goals.
Nickname of the week
Napoleon Vegemite.
Some wit coined that for "Raygun", the scandalously bad Olympic breakdancer.
If you have seen the cultural studies lecturer perform, and you have seen the great movie Napoleon Dynamite, you will get it.
Name of the week
Dillon Dingler.
The Detroit Tigers catcher just hit his first home run in Major League Baseball.
Dillon Dingler hit a dinger, ladies and gentlemen.
Modern cricket etc
The Last Word has regularly lobbed barbs at the great summer game, which blags on about the "spirit of cricket" while soaking itself in commercialism, bastardising the most pure form of the sport and standing by as any number of tinpot T20 events take precedence over international cricket.
But this one just made me laugh.
Lots of top players now represent four or five different teams a year.
But surely none can match veteran Pakistan all-rounder Shoaib Malik. On his Cricinfo profile, he has 45 — FORTY-FIVE — teams on his career record.
They include his national squad, English counties, a Big Bash side, two Canadian teams, two Caribbean team and the lesser known Sui Southern Gas Corporation, the Comilla Victorians, the Khyber-Pakhtunkhwa Fighters and Uva Next.
