You might think a bloke would learn to avoid falling into the trap of making rash predictions in an area as notoriously unpredictable as sport.
Yet here I am again, putting myself through the masochistic annual ritual of trying - and, let's face it, probably failing - to tip, pick, predict and outright guess who will win what in 2011.
It's a huge year, one of those quadrennial periods in which New Zealand's top three teams chase, and usually fall short of, world glory.
Gambling-minded readers are asked to please refrain from outlaying any of their hard-earned funds on any of the following predictions.
RUGBY
1. Let's start with a little pessimism. The All Blacks will NOT win the World Cup at home. Sorry folks, it's going to be 24 years of hurt, with four more to come. I have stuck to this feeling for years: the pressure of being at home, and the favourites, and avoiding the "chokers" tag, will be too much. Australia will win the World Cup.
2. The Highlanders will win four games and finish ninth in the Super 15, which will represent some progress. Colin Slade will be Jamie Joseph's best player, and Adam Thomson will play his way back into the All Blacks.
3. The Crusaders (yawn) will beat the Bulls in the final.
4. Andy Hunter will be appointed Otago co-coach. Otago will win four games, up from two last year, and place fifth in the second tier of the national championship.
5. Canterbury (yawn) will win the ITM Cup.
CRICKET
6. The Black Caps will win the test series (1-0) and the ODI series (4-2) against Pakistan. But they won't make the semifinals of the World Cup.
7. India will beat England in the World Cup final.
8. Ricky Ponting will retire as Australian captain at the end of the Ashes, a series the English will win 2-1 to retain the urn.
9. Northern will win the HRV Cup, Auckland will win the domestic one-day title, and Central will win the Plunket Shield.
NETBALL
10. The Silver Ferns will beat Australia by two goals in the world championships final. Irene van Dyk will immediately announce her international retirement.
11. The New South Wales Swifts will beat the Magic in the ANZ Championship final. The Southern Steel will be a beaten semifinalist.
FOOTBALL
12. Manchester United will win a record 19th Premier League title. Sigh. Arsenal will finish second and Tottenham third. West Ham, Wolves and Fulham will be relegated.
13. Barcelona will beat AC Milan in the Champions League final.
14. Waitakere will cruise to victory in the New Zealand national league. Otago United will finish sixth.
LEAGUE
15. The St George-Illawarra Dragons will become the first proper repeat champions since the Broncos in 1992-93. They will beat the Penrith Panthers in the final. The Warriors will finish fourth.
16. Queensland will win State of Origin 2-1.
GOLF
17. Martin Kaymer will win his second major, Phil Mickel-son will win his fifth, two complete no-names will win majors, and Tiger Woods will again win none.
18. Michael Campbell will retire.
19. The New Zealand Open will be held, in front of pathetic crowds, at Clearwater in December, but will then return to The Hills.
20. The United States will beat the International team 20.5-13.5 in the Presidents Cup in Melbourne.
TENNIS
21. Rafael Nadal will win two men's grand slam titles, Roger Federer one and Novak Djokovic one.
22. Serena Williams, Kim Clijsters, Caroline Wozniacki and Sam Stosur will each win a women's title.
MOTORSPORT
23. Mark Webber will give Red Bull a second consecutive Formula 1 title.
24. Dario Franchitti will repeat as Indy Car champion. New Zealand's Scott Dixon will finish a close second.
25. Kevin Harvick will end Jimmie Johnson's reign at the top of Nascar.
AMERICAN SPORTS
26. The Los Angeles Lakers will beat the Miami Heat in the NBA finals.
27. The New England Patriots will beat the Philadelphia Eagles in the Super Bowl.
28. The Pittsburgh Penguins will beat the Dallas Stars in the Stanley Cup.
29. The Philadelphia Phillies will beat the Boston Red Sox in the World Series.
MISCELLANEOUS
30. The Forsyth Barr Stadium will open on time.
31. The New Zealand Breakers will reach the Australian NBL finals but will get beaten by the Hawks.
32. Winners at the Halberg Awards will be Ryan Nelsen (man), Alison Shanks (woman), Ricki Herbert (coach) and the All Whites (team and supreme award).
