From afar: Someone is always hurt in a rebound relationship

The New Zealand Rugby Union has every right to be concerned about the request of Benji Marshall to be released from his two-year contract with the Blues part-way through the Super 15 season.

Benji entered into the relationship with the NZRU soon after his break-up with rugby league's Wests Tigers after 10 wonderful seasons, including an NRL premiership.

If you move quickly from a long-lasting relationship (with rugby league) into another relationship (with rugby union), you are probably in a ''rebound relationship''.

No wonder the lawyers want to put a stop to the potential for the NZRU to be known as the ''rebound code'' for rugby league players who are on the outer with the NRL.

It was pure luck rather than good management that created a win-win rebound relationship between the NZRU and Sonny Bill Williams.

SBW got a Rugby World Cup appearance and a Super rugby championship to add to his CV and proved his prowess in yet another sport.

His size and star status also made him an excellent midfield option and drawcard for rugby union, and the crowds/consumers loved him.

He got what he wanted out of the relationship and so did the NZRU.

The experiment didn't work quite as well with Benji, and it seems both parties have not been happy with the outcomes.

For Benji, it was a distraction that kept him from experiencing the pain he felt from the emotional break-up with the Wests Tigers club when negotiations for a five-year contract failed.

Jumping head-first into rugby union with the Blues franchise was a misguided attempt by Marshall to move on.

He feared being alone and had made a rod for his own back when he was adamant he would not accept offers from any other NRL clubs, out of loyalty to the Tigers.

So he didn't want to cheat on the Wests Tigers club in the same ''hood'' but didn't mind jumping the ditch and entering into a full-on relationship with a ''brother from another mother'' in rugby union land.

Of course, Benji did receive some benefits from the switch.

There is nothing better than being completely out of your comfort zone to feel alive and on edge, and people often lose weight and get fit soon after a break-up as they re-enter the dating scene after a long hiatus.

It can also be a lot more fun revelling in the emotional intensity and passion of a new relationship than dealing with the misery of a recently-broken heart.

Halfway through the season, however, both the Blues franchise and Benji realised this rebound relationship had fizzled out.

Benji finally faced up to the fact that his heart and soul belonged to rugby league.

Ultimately, the biggest problem in a rebound relationship is that someone ends up being used and hurt.

The NZRU has learned from this experience and should be extremely cautious when entering into a relationship with an ex-NRL player on the rebound again.

Next time, the union chiefs should let the relationship develop slowly (through club and provincial rugby) and take care of themselves legally and financially once the excitement dries up.

The NZRU does not want to be left in the dust again, when the likes of SBW and Benji Marshall eventually decide to go running back into the arms of the NRL.

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