Think of it this way.
Truffles are great.
Ham is a treat.
Trifle is to be enjoyed.
But on Boxing Day we want Sir Richard Hadlee leading the attack.
Trent Boult, Tim Southee, Neil Wagner — they are all fine bowlers but you would trade all three of them for Paddles. Hell, you’d even throw in lanky newcomer Kyle Jamieson and possibly your first born.
Hadlee was the king of the swing. And thanks to Paddles, every day was Movember in the 1980s.
It is crime his test bowling average has been restricted to just two decimal places because it really is a thing of beauty.
Here it is in its full glory — 22.29930394431555.
Go on — commit it to memory. Hadlee probably has.
He is a driven individual and it propelled him to the very top table of world cricket. Only he can sit with the likes of Dennis Lillie and Malcolm Marshall.
Pace, accuracy, swing, seam — Hadlee synthesised all of it to produce arguably greatest spell of fast bowing when he took nine for 52 to rout Australia and set up a series victory in 1985.
We have not tasted that kind of success since. Certainly not last season when the above trio toured Australia and got slapped about.
The mid-1980s teams might have had a one-pronged pace attack but it had a second genius in Martin Crowe.
Kane Williamson has broken many of Crowe’s batting records, but he will never eclipse his elegance. Crowe’s signature shots down the ground were both a clinical exercise in technique and a poetic expression of greatness.
For so long the right-hander was the standard bearer by which all other New Zealand batsmen were judged. And just imagine what Crowe would have been capable of had he not gone out to bat in motorcycle helmet with a twig in his hands.
One of his greatest innings was almost lost in the glory of Hadlee’s 9 for 52. Crowe made a major contribution in that wonderful victory at the Gabba 35 years ago.
He stroked 26 fours during his knock of 188, and he combined with the other John Reid to put on 216 for the third wicket.
Reid is often overlooked in the discussion of great New Zealand batsmen. He was very solid test No3.
Tom Latham is a fine opener with an impressive record. But in the 80s we had fabled Wright and Edgar.
Just watching John Wright adjust his gloves every couple of seconds and stop the game for five minutes while had officials move the sightscreen 2cm to the left was priceless.
They were a solid and settled combination who managed just the one century stand together. But let’s not trouble ourselves with the facts.
And our ’80s stars actually had a spinner — John Bracewell. He could actually turn it and take wickets. Who have they got in 2020? Well, Ajaz Patel but he does not get picked.
Instead they opt for Mitchell Santner who averages 47 with the ball in first-class cricket and hasn’t taken a single five-wicket bag.
And Smithy. What a keeper Ian Smith was in his prime. Much slicker than the 80-year-old man they have behind the stumps at the moment.
— Adrian Seconi
Nostalgia might tell you the team of the 1980s was better.
And to be fair, at least everyone got to see that team play.
But here are some facts.
Since the beginning of the home 2013-14 summer, the Black Caps have played 25 test series.
Of those they have won 16, drawn three and lost six.
Three of those losses were against strong Australian teams.
Only twice in those seven years have they not won at home.
It is quite a record over a long stretch of time.
Sure the 1980s team has the prize win against Australia — or shall we say, a team of Australians — in Australia.
It was hardly the world-beating team Australia usually puts out.
In Hadlee and Crowe that New Zealand team had two of the country’s best ever cricketers.
None of the current bowlers touch Hadlee.
But you can now very much argue Kane Williamson’s case for being as good as, if not better than, Crowe.
It is in its depth that this present team really flourishes though.
When one player does not fire, another does.
Has New Zealand ever had better seam bowling stocks?
Trent Boult, Tim Southee and Neil Wagner have formed a reliable trio for a long time.
All three are in New Zealand’s top seven test wicket takers.
Add to that Kyle Jamieson, who has been so good early in his career the selectors essentially made room for him.
Then you have the likes of Matt Henry and Lockie Ferguson queueing up, both of whom would walk into nearly any other team in New Zealand history.
The batting stocks are similarly stacked.
Alongside Williamson you have another who is among New Zealand’s best ever in Ross Taylor.
Conditions may favour batting more nowadays.
But their averages of 52.55 and 45.81 respectively are ahead any other New Zealander to play 20 or more tests.
Tom Latham now must be considered among our best openers, while BJ Watling has saved so many innings when early wickets fall.
Add to that another solid middle-order contributor in Henry Nicholls and you have a much more potent batting line-up than the 1980s did.
Colin de Grandhomme is not one of the all time greats, but he is more than handy as an all-rounder.
There is no standout spinner, although when has New Zealand ever had a genuinely world class threatening spinner?
Aside from that, there is too much quality in this current team for any other in New Zealand history.
— Jeff Cheshire
Colleagues and former friends Jeff Cheshire and Adrian Seconi put aside their differences to name a combined test team from the mid 1980s and the current crop.
