My list of things I want to mention this week just has to start with something unmentionable.
My wonderful sister-in-law has been roundly abused by her loving children after a family trip to Bali.
On day two of their holiday, oldest daughter was vomiting and feeling a little dangerous at the other end as well, so her kind mama trotted off to the chemist. She mimed the problem to the nice lady there and came home with a big box of pills. Her son, also feeling a bit dodgy, took some pills as well.
A few days later, there wasn't much improvement, so oldest daughter went to a different chemist and was delighted to find an English speaker.
She described the symptoms and he gave her a box of pills.
A different box.
As she was paying, she saw the original packet on display and asked what the difference was.
"Oh, those aren't what you need - they are for constipation."
Mistakes are everywhere.
My brother, whose agricultural knowledge knows no bounds, has a flock of wethers. Somebody put a brand-new lamb in his paddock. He knew it didn't belong there because of the unproductive nature of his flock.
So he took it to my mother, who is a constant source of advice (and not always the asked-for variety).
She too was puzzled, but decided to have a look at his flock whereupon she declared one of his wethers had miraculously become a ewe and a mother all on the same day. Quite extraordinary.
It's been a really busy week.
Irish Tracy, who owns a huge catering company in Mexico, gave a fantastic cooking class at her glass-cube house in Arthurs Point.
We all tucked into very delicious tamarind margaritas - a good margarita is a rare and lovely thing, but a tamarind one is even rarer and oh-so-much lovelier.
The rest of the course was a little irrelevant, really. Actually, it was fabulous and we learnt to cook all the beautiful fresh food that Mexico should be more famous for. It is a shame that only the greasy chilli con carne and refried beans seem to have emigrated.
And Philly Archibald had a beautiful blossom party. Girls only - all dressed in pretty pink frocks with cups of tea and plates of marshmallows and strawberry cloud cake - under her fluffy, floaty blossom trees. Her teenage son asked her what else we would do apart from eat and drink and admire. Male thinking can be so very strange.
It's impossible to stay inside with this beautiful weather and everyone wants to go walking. Jenny Mehrtens discovered how to get on to the new track that takes you up to the top of Tobins. Let me warn you right now, it is not quite a formed track yet. And it's very steep.
If you want to have a go, you go to the bottom bridge on the Arrow River track and make a hard turn to the right the minute you get off the bridge (you won't see the track until then), creep and crawl along clutching to the prickly branches until you start a very vertical ascent. Once you get to the top, you can heavy breathe for a long time pretending you are admiring the view.
No hurry though - seems as if the view is going to stay the same for a very long time with the new Arrowtown boundaries set in concrete.
I'm a bit sad as a town that isn't growing is doing the other thing, and the beauty of Arrowtown is the constant influx of new residents, with their new thoughts and businesses.
I've nothing against pensioners - I nearly am one and I'm very nearly married to one - but we don't really want a town clattering with Zimmer frames and humming with hearing aids and we definitely don't want a town even more filled with unused holiday houses than it already is.
Let's make it easier for all the young families to live here; goodness knows it's hard enough to get their foot in the door as it is.
One gorgeous young thing in the Basin is now the new fashion queen of Angel Divine. Emma Taylor has taken it over and is having a relaunch party at 6pm tonight, so get along to Searle Lane and have a look.
Remembering always that this is actually a book column, I must apologise to the lovely librarians at the Arrowtown Library. Lots of you are going and asking them for books that I have reviewed. If said book is not there, don't worry, because our local librarians are a much better source of book information than I am.
Ask them what they suggest. I'm always doing that and they are brilliant. You will find masses of great books that way.
Room.
It's about a young mother and her 5-year-old son who have been locked in a garden shed for years.
I know it sounds ghastly, but it is all told through the eyes of the little boy, and his ignorance of the wrongness of their situation makes it quite a different story.
I haven't read anything quite like this before and it is not a book for putting down. You simply have to know what is going to happen next and the way the little boy, Jack, sees the world is so refreshing and positive.
The horrid real-life story of that poor girl in Austria was probably the catalyst for this one, and there are a lot of issues that had not occurred to me until I read this book. It's been nominated for some very big prizes and I can't imagine it not winning.
And finally, a very happy birthday to rally driver Grant Aitken, who is going to be more than 59 this weekend (I'll have to dust off my pit chick outfit, which might take some doing). Have a fabulous weekend.
