Saturday, June 19
10am: Today am walking Jardine Park to Jack's Point track for first time.
Do not have to; want to.
Am taking three kind friends along for fresh air.
11.30am: At Jardine Park, exit car. Discover three layers of clothing, plus gloves and arm-warmers were unnecessary.
Is ridiculously balmy for June - 16degC according to flatmate's vehicular temperature gauge.
12.30pm: Right knee bung again.
Am trying to just grin and bear it.
Trying is operative word.
1.15pm: Make it to destination - Jack's Point Clubhouse.
Have earned celebratory drink and yummy lunch.
2.15pm: Have been sitting for some time and knee is no longer sore.
Now is right ankle.
Decide medication will be required to get rid of soreness in time for gym visit tonight.
4pm: Am falling apart.
Actually am.
Now left upper arm is aching.
Is very uncomfortable feeling.
Take pain pills.
6pm: Not sure if pain pills are working, but am off to gym (second Saturday night in a row ... am not sure if this is tragic or admirable).
Thought gym would be empty as kick-off in All Blacks v Wales game at Carisbrook is in 90 minutes.
Am amazed how many unpatriotic men there are in Queenstown.
Gym busy ... not impressed.
7.15pm: Finished Babelicious, time better again.
Will admit burpees were removed.
They would not be in best interests of sore arm.
Replaced them with more prison squats and more lunges.
9.30pm: Arm still sore.
Kind friend does magic on it and feels much better almost immediately.
Now I just need her to magic my entire head, right knee and right ankle.
Sunday, June 20
10am: RPM.
Legs burning and we haven't started yet.
Richie Lambert and Sarah Cole in front of me.
Decide I will try very hard to keep up with them.
10.10am: Think Sarah and Richie just lapped me.
And we're only on track one.
11am: Legs dead.
On upside, knee did not hurt today.
Is almost unfortunate.
If it had hurt there would have been excuse not to go for 3km time-trial. 2.30pm: Pick up very excited friend to go for run with me.
She has energy to burn. Guess what else? Is raining.
This time am smart.
Leave stretchy trousers at home. Friend has shown me fancy graph from last shuffling experience, so now have formulated game plan.
Will try to shuffle faster at beginning and see if this helps make time faster.
3pm: Am finished shuffling.
Am astounded (also knackered).
Is third 3km run and have just cut 5 minutes off first time.
Was running (actually was running) so fast at end I couldn't feel legs.
Think this achievement may need to be celebrated with small treat.
6pm: Catwalk practice.
One week and one day until practice becomes proper catwalking.
Is not enough time.
Go silent.
Is not that I don't want to speak, I can't.
Am too nervous to make any noises.
6.50pm: Just made Jackie Guiney cry. Not on purpose, didn't hit her or anything. Have just been told there is potential for people to get emotional at parade - both on catwalk and in audience.
Jackie looked like she was about to cry.
So asked her if she was crying.
Then she started proper crying and told everyone 'twas my fault.
7.30pm: With friends having celebratory glass of Lindauer.
The green one.
Have missed it very much.
Realise - rapidly - tolerance to alcohol has diminished greatly. Have had about a quarter of a glass and already feel very light-headed. [Note to self: have good breakfast next Monday].
Monday, June 21
6am: Have begun "this time next week ..." game.
Play this game when am really looking forward to something, or really dreading it.
This time next week, I will still be in bed.
Now am at Pump.
6.35am: Bicep track.
Instructor Karen Castiglione is very excited. `Participation" is involved.
Have had other classes where participation is required.
Like in RPM once we had to play electric guitars. 6.37am: Am laughing and cannot stop. Participation is head banging.
May not be brightest idea when one is holding bar with weights on.
12.15pm: Drive past Ballarat St car park, which will hold the American Express Ice Box.
Framework is going up.
Is HUGE.
Did not anticipate it being this big.
Hands sweating, heart racing and butterflies breeding.
This time next week I will be on verge of emptying stomach contents.
Tuesday, June 22
5.40am: Call gym and cancel RPM.
Head banging (not in the Pump participation sense) and sinuses ache.
Again.
8.40am: Have just made nose bleed due to blowing it too much.
3.45pm: Realise this time next week it will all be over.
And odds are I will have a slight headache then too.
4.40pm: Head still banging, sinuses still aching and I have a 6.30pm date with Babelicious.
Think the study which says running is bad for immune system was bang on. 6.45pm: At gym with kind friend doing Babelicious.
Friend decides to go through exercises with me.
Only one treadmill available.
So she does cross trainer.
Am very mean.
Tell her to put it on maximum hills (level 25).
She reports is like dragging tyres with your legs.
Try not to laugh ... fail.
Wednesday, June 23
7.30am: Begin receiving text messages from friends advising me there is snow. Look out window.
They are not lying.
Text Richie, tell him I may not be able to get to gym for 9am session.
8.30am: Richie calls.
Tells me a training session is not worth risk of having accident. Should feel happy to have day off.
Instead am gutted.
Was actually looking forward to it.
Decide to pack gym gear in car just in case ... am aware the weigh-in and measuring session is in 48 hours.
Had been so immersed in catwalk nervousness I had almost forgotten about The Scales and Measuring Tape.
Key word: almost.
3.45pm: Book in for RPM.
Was hoping there wouldn't be a spot.
Unfortunately, there is.
Reason for hesitation is wager made with not-so-kind friends 12 weeks ago.
They made me promise to wear cycle helmet to last compulsory RPM class.
I, foolishly, agreed.
Am not one to go back on word, so now actually have to go through with it.
4.23pm: Friend, who on Monday decided "no more early mornings", has now booked for RPM because she cannot stand the thought of missing me embarrass myself.
She also wants me to fit head lamp. Think this is entirely unnecessary.
8pm: Set alarm for 4.45am - extra early to factor in icy roads and slow drive to gym.
Thursday, June 24
7.44am: Wake up worrying have slept in. This happens most mornings at 4.15am. Check alarm.
Rub eyes, blink several times and stare at alarm.
Says 7.44am.
Say bad word.
Check to see what time alarm went off.
Says 10.40am.
8.30am: Am very annoyed at me.
On upside, decide to wear belt with trousers which used to be high-waisters.
Of late these have been pulled on and off without the undoing of a single button.
Do belt up. Have to use belt-hole not used in more than a year.
Am happier.
10.14am: Trying to work out how I slept through alarm.
Think I came close to consciousness, tried to get another 20 minutes sleep and accidentally gave myself another six hours.
Have no recollection of this.
Send grovelling email to friends and promise to make it up to them by wearing bike helmet AND lime green cycling jacket to first optional RPM class.
5pm: Decide to go to gym to make up for this morning.
Get gym bag from car but I discover I have everything but shoes. Cannot go to gym in boots with heels. Universe is telling me not to go.
So I wisely listen
8.30pm: Friend says very disappointed at my RPM no-show.
Instructor Grant even had chocolate for me.
Feel even worse.
July 8 is marked on calendar to make it up.
Friday, June 25
4.15am: Scared I have slept in.
Have difficulty getting back to sleep.
Have sneaky suspicion Richie will make me do The Finisher, the exercise I failed in first week.
6am: Stand on scales thinking light thoughts.
Richie has odd look on face.
Asks me to stand on scales again.
Feel once was enough.
Turns out data he inputted was wrong and had me weighing 10kg lighter than I should have.
Wish he hadn't worked that out.
Stand on scales.
Richie reads out number and I'm slightly agog.
In total have lost 7.1kg (the 0.1 is very important).
Today is 81st day of exercising and the number on scales I have not seen since I was 16.
6.20am: Richie Heap remembers $5 bet made three months ago that by now I would "love" gym.
Tell him do not "love" gym, but no longer hate it, therefore payment of $2.50 seems fair.
6.35am: Am doing The Finisher.
This time am mentally prepared.
Richie starts me with 20kg weight and makes me push it up 15 times.
Then 15kg, 10kg, 5kg and 2.5kg before working my way back up. Richie says my face is blank.
Tell him have gone to happy place.
This time didn't just finish The Finisher.
I kicked its proverbial. 1.14pm: Am in shock ... in best way. Have just had Measuring Tape whipped around me.
In 12 weeks, 46cm have disappeared from body.
Is almost half a metre!
Also missing large amount of fat judging by folds being squeezed in callipers.
Now the only things standing between me and celebrations are one more Babelicious, one more run ... and The Catwalk.
See Wednesday's Queenstown Times for a final catch-up with the inspirational Lindauer Ladies and photographs from their big reveal at the sold-out Lindauer Ladies Fashion Afternoon, being held today at the American Express Ice Box.
