Saturday, February 21
Am feeling disheartened.
Washed jeans.
Remembered a few years ago when I knew I had lost weight after repeating this exercise.
Freshly washed jeans were loose.
Unfortunately, freshly washed jeans this time were not loose.
Were skin tight.
Had to actually do squats in jeans to make them semi-comfy.
Was not happy.
Sunday, February 22
May have accidentally turned into a healthy person . . . at least, healthy compared to the Troxy of 10 days ago.
Wanted to eat bad food.
Mouth watered at the thought of devouring something which did not involve any form of salad.
Thought no-one had to know.
Thought one treat would not matter.
Remembered how I felt after eating the six cooler-side-of-warm chips on Thursday.
Resisted temptation.
Feeling very pious.
Monday, February 23
6am: And we're back.
Today was medium cardio.
Julia Challenor has accurately deduced I don't like running.
So she made me do more. She also made us do a stupid number of tricep dips and push-ups and squats and lunges and then more running.
After a certain number of lunges and squats, legs cease to work effectively.
Ever tried running on dead legs? Not fun.
Not conducive to "sprinting" either, particularly when one takes on a kind of gravity-defying lean towards the ground, forcing one's arms to begin to flail in circles to try to maintain balance.
Only to have Julia Challenor yell at you to go faster. Wanted to say "physically impossible" but could not speak due to not being able to breathe.
3.30pm: Am shattered.
Thank the powers that be for situating the ODT office next to Bean Around The World, a mere 15 steps for any normal person . . . almost one minute of shuffling for me.
Reached my destination and struggled to make conversation that made any sense until the coffee was in my hands.
Think there must be a way to get caffeine through an IV drip. 8.30pm: Am in jammies, snuggled into blanket in a vegetative state in lounge. Flatmate takes pity on me when I try to get out of chair and can't.
Tells me it will get better.
The million-dollar question is when?
Tuesday, February 24
9am: Have gone on to experience new realms of exhaustion.
Almost as bad as when I was jet-lagged last year - people would talk to me but I could not form any words.
Would also forget what I was talking about mid-sentence.
Experiencing bizarre tongue-tiedness - cannot for the life of me get a sentence out that makes sense.
Am also forgetting words.
Not ideal when one has chosen a career in journalism.
11.43am: Braden Lee and Mark Wilson have just left my office.
Not sure what the purpose of their visit was but I took great pleasure in pointing out my recently re-filled water bottle and bag of healthy snacks.
Mark Wilson says he cannot wait until I "turn the corner" and start writing about how I'm kicking boot camp's you-know-what. Tell him he may be waiting a while. Tell them I'm sick of eating rabbit food.
Am told I need to mix it up and have different kinds of salads.
Explain at the end of the day it's all just lettuce and I maybe don't want to eat lettuce any more.
Worried I may turn into one of those people who eats so much of one coloured food they change colour - am sure someone turned orange from too many carrots.
Braden Lee asks me if I have lost weight yet.
Say no.
Tells me to stop weighing myself. Have NO desire to step on the scale for several more weeks - am still recovering from the episode on February 11.
2.34pm: Could happily curl up on the carpet and nod off.
The thought of getting up for boot camp at 6am tomorrow makes me feel like crying.
5.45pm: At Joe's Garage for a session on tips for surviving boot camp.
During this chat concluded I may not survive. Mark Wilson informs us for the last "couple" of weeks we will be "thrashed".
Thought I was already being thrashed.
This does not bode well.
Wednesday, February 25
6am: Back at boot camp.
Today is circuit training.
It involves various exercises using playground equipment.
May never look at a playground the same way.
Had to hang off monkey bars and try to lift my knees up.
Only thing that saved me was my feet touching the ground.
Had to hang under another bar low to the ground and lift myself up, while parallel to the ground.
Had to do that prone hold caper again, this time transferring from my arms to my hands which produced some sounds which may have caused concern for unsuspecting passers-by.
4.23pm: Have almost made it through the day and am knackered.
The thought of "introduction to hills" does not excite me.
Am getting rather cheesed off.
Those endorphin things have not yet found their way into my sluggish, aching body. Have so far experienced one day of being full of bounce and that was before the delayed pain set in last Tuesday. Suspect I may break boot camp.
Suspect I may be the one client they have they cannot help.
Suspect I may regret saying that as suspect there will be consequences.
4.36pm: Am trying a Ryvita cracker.
Tastes like cardboard.
Thursday, February 26
6am: Hills.
Would rather pull each one of my toenails out individually and without anaesthetic than run up hills. To say boot camp was a struggle was an understatement.
Julia Challenor was very nice to me and tried very hard to encourage me.
All the encouragement in the world will not make me like hills.
She also helped stretch my calf muscles.
The pain was so great water fell from my eye sockets.
9am: Asked by colleague where my gluteus maximus had gone.
Respond by saying it is where it always was. Know this because it hurts profusely.
9.20am: There isn't a way to appropriately describe how I feel at this moment.
I am exhausted.
My entire body hurts.
I feel this is going to be a very, very bad day.
Think I may have hit the half-way point slump. Depressing thing about that is I'm not yet halfway.
And the schedule for the coming weeks mentions Tobins Track more than once.
Last time I went up Tobins Track I was 8 years old and had the energy of a baby lamb. Needless to say, these days I am more like a manky old sheep which no longer has teeth and prefers to sit and graze all day than jump about like a ninny.
10.20am: Braden Lee has just visited. Asked me if I said bad words to Julia Challenor while attempting to run up hill.
Said no.
When one cannot breathe is very difficult to talk.
12.30pm: Have discovered another down side to this fitness kick.
Apparently, I look well.
Therefore, no-one believes me when I tell them I feel otherwise.
Friday, February 27
Another week down - this time next week I will be over halfway through. Praying by this time next week I will be full of the joys of living.
Aches and pains are now not so bad.
Brain, on the other hand, is resembling mashed potato.
Mother always told me the most important thing was to try, so am trying very hard to be efficient and motivated.
This is not working.
Am sick of eating.
Am sick of thinking about eating.
Have been told next week "will" be better.
Am dubious but feel a small glimmer of hope.
Glimmer slightly brighter after kind colleague told me my face looks slimmer - not exactly the area I was targeting, but I'll take it.
Also, my "biceps" have "more definition".
Perhaps I will conquer boot camp after all.
For more information, visit www.bootcamps.co.nz
