Gosh - mower rage - I mean I'd heard the expression "mowing down the opposition" but I'd never really thought of it actually happening ... lawnmowing as contact sport?
Terrifying.
Of course, there could have been all sorts of other incidents at the Lake Hayes Show on Saturday.
My own bitter disappointment at being beaten in the big thistle, big eggs and smelly rose categories had me wanting to lash out, but I bit my quivering lip and held back the tears and got revenge in other ways. After all, it was my civic duty to speak to the authorities about Austin Haynes, who had obviously used steroids on his thistle. When even the local show entries have to be drug tested, things have got a bit sad.
My big eggs definitely should have won first prize. I have been gazing into the eyes of my chickens, trying to identify the one with the pained expression. Someone in my hen yard is laying the most enormous eggs.
Judge Te Radar was heard to say he was inclined to award on size alone, but thought the beautiful nests the other smaller, inferior ones were displayed in needed some reward. Grrr ...
But big congratulations to master bakers Nicky Martin and Roger Tompkins.
Nicky won first prize in almost every category and should really have got a Top Domestic Goddess crown and sash, while Roger created the Ultimate Mancake. A glorious, breathtaking, layered confection of bacon, peas, eggs and spuds. Quite beautiful to behold (and devour).
And if you didn't visit the "Insects Made of Vegetables" section, you missed something truly great.
The marrow centipede with yellow bean legs and the ladybird made of red pepper halves were brilliant, but my favourite was the tiny wormy guy made from a string of little red tomatoes. Oh, and the crayfish made from kumara.
Next year I am entering some different categories.
I was going to enter my darling in the Best Rural Creature section this time - the trouble is that, as it is judged on not just the owner's handling of the creature, but also on the creature's condition and manners, I thought a year's preparation might be in order.
To calm our nerves before the big day, a group of us set off to walk into the Routeburn.
A glorious day with great company and as we wedged our dainty toes into our hiking boots, there was a sad and shamefaced Ali Evers-Swindell wondering how she had managed to pack her left boot and her husband's right for the hike.
It couldn't have mattered less, as we all pretended to be so worried about Ali walking in ordinary shoes that it wasn't long before we insisted on stopping for lunch. It's good to remember when things get really hectic that you can get so far away from the mayhem so quickly when you live here.
Lunch by the side of an icy, sparkly river on a scorching summer's day is the perfect way to relax.
And sipping a good coffee is another excellent way to relax.
London has always been the home of the coffee house from the 17th century, when they were known as the "Penny Universities". Anyone could go and enjoy sparkling, intellectual chitchat over a great coffee.
The Antipodeans have taken over the coffee scene in London these days, and our own George Wallace, Penny and Dardy's son, with his Federation coffee has rated fifth most popular in all of London. Fantastic effort, George!
Thanks so much to Mick Burdon, who told me to read Alone in Berlin, by Hans Fallada.
This book was written in 1946 but has just been republished.
I love books where the author's story is just as exciting as the book's and this is definitely one of those.
There's a big afterword on the author at the end, so I won't spoil that for you, but this novel is a World War 2 story where some people just won't bury their heads in the sand about what is going on in Nazi Germany.
It is told in a very blank and impersonal way with no very likeable characters - even the good ones - and it raises a huge number of moral conundrums, such as how much can you punish one person? And if you are taking a stand and not making a difference, is there any point?
It's a brilliant book and I'm going to read it again very soon, as I've been mulling over it so much already.
Lastly, if you are at all interested in yoga, ring Peggy at Studio Sangha and see if she can squeeze you into any of Lance Schuler's workshops.
He is a truly inspirational teacher and we are so lucky to have him here for the next three days.
Hope you all have a fabulous weekend.
