The absolute impracticality of an English degree is reluctantly yet acutely observed when searching for holiday employment. It was a goal of mine, during this last break, to find a summer job. A goal common to many students at this time of year, I'm sure.
IT students, though, they don't need to stress - every second advertisement on Student Job Search is for computer help. The students at Teachers College also seem highly sought after, as tutors. And any half-fit male usually finds it pretty easy to become temporarily employed (I detest the sexist undertones of "hard-labour" jobs).
I appreciate the wide application of an education in language and literature, as it influences everything I say and write. Such an education will make me better at whatever job I do, but the problem is actually finding a job in the first place.
This problem is heightened by the paradox of looking for something that the hedonist within me would really prefer not to find. It is simply quite awful to be forced into desperately seeking the best-paying way to ruin my summer.
Throughout the year I dread having to spend long, hot days inside an office, watching the clock's second-hand tick. Counting another 23 cents into the proverbial piggy-bank every time it touches the 12.
Oh, but surely building a fortune at 23 cents a minute is better than the slow depletion of savings which is the alternative! Thanks to the Christchurch earthquake, getting even the most mundane job is now a highly competitive process.
Perhaps I should be looking for employment overseas? I was actually offered an au pair position in California, and the allure of a holiday on Long Beach was certainly strong. Until I discovered that I was expected to self-fund the flights. Unfortunately this would mean that I would return to university with negative money; not ideal, I know, but I scribbled it on to my shortlist nonetheless.
I am also considering a domestic job at Scott Base, the Antarctic. I have always wanted to visit the Antarctic, and exposure to 24 hours of sunshine a day seems like a fantastic way to get a tan. But again my plan has a major flaw: the average temperature during summer is substantially less than freezing, meaning my skin is unlikely to tan and more likely to turn blue with frostbite.
Maybe I could be a bit more predictable and just find work at a cafe, although I'm pretty sure you now need several diplomas in coffee-making to even get an interview for such a job. Furthermore, working in a cafe would violate one of my summer-job prerequisites: I don't want to have to deal with the public (no offence).
I would also prefer not to work on days when the temperature is above 25degC and/or the weather is cloudlessly sunny. I don't want to start work before 10am on weekdays, and ideally I would not work at all on weekends. It would be really great if the job was in a tropical location, if my colleagues were of an easy-going temperament, and if I didn't actually have to do any boring work, ever.
Are you looking for a similar job? That's funny; everyone seems to be searching for it. I asked my parents where they thought I could find such a post and they told me: In your dreams. Hmm, that doesn't sound like a bad place to start. I think I'll add it to my shortlist.
- Katie Kenny studies English at the University of Otago.
