This was the lesson for David Seymour and Shane Jones at Waitangi this year.
Both Jones and Seymour came to Waitangi to cause a scene and attract some media attention.
Both have been delivering attacks on Māori and te Tiriti o Waitangi over the last 12 months and gaining attention for it.
But their desire to use the politician’s pōwhiri at Te Whare Runanga on the Waitangi Treaty grounds to justify their repugnant politics was rejected. And rejected by mana wāhine in a very classy and collective form.
The paepae (orator’s bench) at the political pōwhiri at Waitangi was dominated by mana wāhine.
As Seymour walked to the microphone to speak, it was the women on the paepae who stood first to turn their backs on him, alongside the mana wāhine from the Toitu te Tiriti movement.
Watching those women, rangatahi, pakeke (elders), whaea (aunties) and kuia (female elders), resplendent in embroidered red blankets, I suffered my first ever political FOMO.
It is times like this that the rangatiratanga (chieftainship) of Māori women is made apparent.
No-one wants their mothers and grandmothers criticising them, especially in public, but that is what happened to both these men in a tikanga-led (culturally appropriate), wāhine-toa (strong/brave women) response.
Waitangi is a singular opportunity for politicians to listen to hapū Māori describe the impacts of the political actions of the past year. This is not a kōrero (discussion) that politicians have much access to otherwise.
Most politicians do not consider iwi and hapū Māori to be significant in their constituencies and many have little regular contact with the local marae.
Waitangi is also the time for hapū Māori to describe how they want the political realm to respond to their needs.
Some of those are practical needs, like the effect of rising unemployment on whānau Māori.
But there are also the political impacts of the denial of rangatiratanga and the partnership in te Tiriti o Waitangi.
Constitutional concerns are as valid as the practical ones.
Politicians have an obligation to listen. But many choose to grandstand instead.
Seymour’s speech blamed the Treaty of Waitangi for the terrible statistics that still hound whānau Māori. It is a dirty tactic, always talking about Māori in the worst possible terms, and never about our strengths, rangatiratanga, manaaki (respect) or whanaungatanga (kinship).
Seymour’s argument rested on the negative stories politicians like to tell themselves about Māori.
"If this is what a Treaty partnership looks like, how is it working out for Māori?" he said.
Well, we do not know, David, because there has never been a Treaty partnership.
Every time we establish some indicators of one, the National government comes along to smash it and we go back to business as usual — inequity and disrespect.
Te Aka Whai Ora was the Māori Health Authority that was cancelled by the National government before it had a chance to help Māori health.
The Māori constituencies at local government would have helped build a partnership in local communities — also cancelled by the National government.
And let us not forget the unilateral reinterpretation of te Tiriti o Waitangi that is still on the political agenda.
Shane Jones, on the other hand, took it upon himself to dictate the tikanga to the hosts, including the women of Ngāpuhi, and then threaten them with a financial penalty if they did not comply with his version.
But tikanga presumes that those who come to eat the food should listen. Those who come to drink the tea and insult their hosts should not complain of their treatment.
At the heart of Waitangi is the manaakitanga offered to all the manuhiri (guests) who come through the doors to be fed and cared for. It is the mums and the grandmas who feed the thousands who come; they cook the food and they make the tea.
They do not tolerate rudeness by their visitors, and they do not tolerate gaslighting. A beautiful line of straight, proud, resplendent wāhine toa showed us that.
— Metiria Stanton Turei is a senior law lecturer at the University of Otago and a former Green Party MP and co-leader.
