Hence this week our southern MPs have been talking about possums, utes, outer space, Barker’s sweet chilli sauce ... and every so often about something of vital importance.
On Tuesday Taieri Labour MP Ingrid Leary fell into the latter camp with an impassioned speech about the state of the nation’s mental health system.
"But no, they did not. Instead, they threw a paltry bit of money to help the transition at emergency departments for the withdrawal of police. That was far too little, far too late."
It was Ms Leary’s Labour Dunedin colleague Rachel Brooking who brought possums and utes to the debate soon after — which was fairly funny, albeit with a serious purpose.
The Budget had been good for possums, Ms Brooking said, because of cuts to pest management initiatives. And it had been good for utes because of subsidies being afforded to companies.
But most of all, Ms Brooking said scornfully, the Budget had been bad for women.
"Anyone listening closely to the House when the Budget dropped will have heard me give an audible gasp when I read ... that $12 billion was looking to be saved from pay equity.
"Yet the Prime Minister had the gall to say to us just the week before, ‘No, no, no. This has nothing to do with pay equity’. It is astounding."
And she did not mean that in a good way.
Up soon after, Taieri Green list MP Scott Willis warmed up on the topic of people feeling the cold as winter bit hard — although he might have sparked debate on his own side by talking about getting nice and cosy in front of a fire rather than being warmed up by an electric fire powered by solar or wind energy.
"What really would have helped people and helped landlords, even, would have been support for warm, dry, energy-efficient homes," Mr Willis said.
"But this government, over the last two Budgets, has cut over $230m from the Energy Efficiency and Conservation Authority ... crippling the Energy Efficiency and Conservation Authority. Why has this government decided that ordinary Kiwis should be left out in the cold?"
The next day the South’s government MPs got to give an alternative, all together more enthusiastic appraisal of the Budget.
Rather than wreaking havoc on all and sundry, Southland National MP Joseph Mooney extolled it for "balancing the New Zealand taxpayers' funds in a very considered and careful way in a challenging domestic and geopolitical environment."
Funding such as new daytime urgent care services in places like Invercargill, Gore, and Alexandra found favour with Mr Mooney, as did the potential expansion of the service to Balclutha, Lumsden, Roxburgh and all places in between in the future.
It was Mr Mooney who donned his space suit, noting Southlander Sir Peter Beck had made New Zealand the third-largest launcher of satellites into infinity and beyond.
"He had a wild dream and made it happen in a country that did not have a space sector. I think that's an opportunity for all of us to lift our sights high, aim for the stars, and we can make it happen," he said, leaving unspoken but fairly obvious the assertion that the government was helping such firms to focus on the target.
Leaving Waitaki MP Miles Anderson — no doubt well aware that many residents in Geraldine would like their town to instead be in the Rangitata electorate — to praise the fine products of Barker’s of Geraldine.
"I spoke this morning to the team at Barker's of Geraldine — and those of you who have had the opportunity to try some of their goods, I highly recommend them."
"Great little place. Sweet chilli sauce," Otaki MP Tim Costley chimed in, a sentiment echoed from across the House.
"They supply jams, preserves, and pickles to supermarkets across the country," Mr Anderson added, in his best infomercial manner.
There was actually a point to all this spruiking: Mr Anderson wanted to use his time to boast about Investment Boost, the Budget’s central policy for business growth.
Enabling firms to immediately write off some of the cost of new equipment was a boon for an expanding business like Barker’s, he said ... and that was not all for the great electorate of Waitaki.
"Other local businesses are also having an increase in asset investment," Mr Anderson said.
"Te Pari Industries tell me that they have seen an increase in interest for their products, and that farmers are making decisions much more quickly with both sheep and dairy systems. Drummond & Etheridge in Oamaru, local farm machinery retailers, saw an immediate increase in sales and a significant increase in buyer inquiry."
And with a shout out to Five Forks School — pupils from which had visited the House the previous day and been acknowledged from the chamber — that was it for the Budget debate for another year.
Half time, change sides
Act New Zealand Southland list MP Todd Stephenson is poised to become the most recognisable backbencher in the country following the grand rearrangement of the House this week.
With the coalition swapping deputy prime ministers, New Zealand First’s MPs have moved to where Act once sat, and vice versa.
As Act’s whip, Mr Stephenson is now sitting in the second row alongside National chief whip Stuart Smith.
That means that during Question Time — the only bit of Parliament that most New Zealanders catch a glimpse of — that Mr Stephenson is sitting right behind Christopher Luxon and David Seymour when the cameras roll.
