Actually, I rather fancy taking in a show and then having a bit of a flutter in the Las Vegas Lounge before a nightcap and bed.
Another cruise ship season beckons. But not every floating Princess This or Caribbean That offers such luxury and hedonistic pleasure. There are some vessels where life on board is actually hell, or close to it, for the inhabitants.
Many in the New Zealand farming sector are keen supporters of live cattle shipments on specially designed ships to major markets overseas. But animal welfare activists are far less supportive of the practice and far less likely to be persuaded that it is carried out as humanely as possible in a way which does not leave animals traumatised.
Stuffing as many animals on to a ship as possible does seem to jar with the line we’ve been given in recent decades by excitable marketing teams that having happy animals enjoying a pleasant life in a field ultimately equals better-flavoured meat.
With an incoming National-Act NZ government, the vexed question of live cattle shipments will be back on the table.
It was only in April that a ban on the shipments came into force. The National Party promised then, if elected, it would overturn the ban, a move which would greatly please farmers who have benefited from this lucrative trade.
According to RNZ, between January 2020 and April more than 400,000 live cows were exported to China. The value of such trade to New Zealand in 2022, its last full-year before the ban, was an eye-watering $524 million.
Activists say the animals were kept in squalorous conditions on board, suffering from extreme heat and humidity, and trying to survive in disgracefully cramped and foetid conditions. Several hundred cattle reportedly died during that three-year period.
Nobody in their right minds – farmers, politicians, activists alike – really wants the animals to endure such torture. But unfortunately, it still happens whether they care about it or not. Of course, some vessels have been a lot worse than others.
Even National’s animal welfare spokeswoman, Nicola Grigg, told RNZ she appreciated "an animal being on a ship for three weeks is quite different to roaming around in a pastoral environment".
The loss of these shipments to the business of one Ashburton farmer spoken to by RNZ was between $100,000 and $200,000 a year.
We can perhaps get a sense of the revolting conditions some cattle have had to bear for weeks on end by considering the typical sheep truck as it passes. The hapless animals crammed in, their faces poking through the gaps in the side, the occasional tremulous bleat breaking through, the stench of urine and faeces following them down the road.
And who can forget the terrible capsize of Gulf Livestock 1 in a typhoon in the East China Sea in September 2020? Two New Zealand crew were lost, along with 6000 cattle, left to float helplessly in the ocean before being eaten by sharks.
Just because the farmers and the incoming government want the shipments to start again, that doesn’t make it right.
If we could be assured, beyond any doubt, that any future journeys would have the highest standards of care and welfare possible, and that the animals were contented, then the idea of shipments starting again might be more acceptable.
Such assurances and standards have clearly been lacking in the past, which was the reason for the ban.
It’s fair to say that most farmers are concerned about animal health and welfare, as well as their bottom line.
How we treat our animals says an awful lot about us. Someone who abuses animals, or is happy to bury their head in the sand when it comes to their management, is unlikely to be a charming individual towards others.
Even on their final journeys, all animals deserve to be treated respectfully.
Remember the words of the marketers. A happy cow is a healthy and productive one.
