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Families using cyberspace to ease pain of separation

The holiday period can provide some heartache for families separated by the tyranny of distance from their loved ones.

Many would have turned to the Internet, particularly programmes such as Skype, to keep in touch.

Families have been busy posting messages on YouTube, but no messages have been more important than the ones posted by United States President-elect Barack Obama.

Millions of people are tuning in to see and hear what Mr Obama has to say about the world economy.

I wonder if people crowd around their PCs and iPhones listening to Mr Obama as they once crowded around radios in New Zealand listening to Walter Nash.

Probably not. But I log in and listen, given my dual roles at the Otago Daily Times.

His last message on Sunday about creating three million jobs, up from two million before he had a holiday in Hawaii, made both sharemarkets and the mood of the US rise.

Interestingly, New Zealand Prime Minister John Key, also on holiday in Hawaii, is not averse to using YouTube and Facebook to keep in touch with voters.

Not surprisingly, his message is much the same as that posted by Mr Obama - economic growth through infrastructure spending, green projects and creating jobs.

But back to Skype and the art of separation.

It was reported at the weekend that nearly four million married Americans (not including separated couples) were living apart from their spouses.

Families were having to cope with all sorts of strains that did not exist before and were having to adjust to make things work, National Marriage Project co-director at Rutgers University David Popenoe said on NYT-online.

The challenging economy might force more couples into commuter marriages for the sake of a pay cheque.

Emma Child, a partner in the investment banking group of Rose Partnership in London, a financial services and corporate search firm, said that in recent months she had noted a marked increase in the willingness of couples to live in different locations.

"Eighteen months ago, anyone searching for a new job would ask to be placed in their current location. Now they come in and say 'I am prepared to move', even, if necessary, without the family.

"We send a lot of people to emerging markets right now. But honestly, who wants to move the family to Lagos? And if the spouse is working, who wants to give up the second income?"

So while the money is often good when a spouse shifts, it creates a few difficulties similar to those experienced by divorced couples.

The person who remains home with the children has to assume the duties as the chief organiser of and rule-setter for the family.

Spouses returning home after a lengthy period overseas working find they have to adjust to a new set of rules, a change of status and a different rhythm in the household.

Having contact with the family through Skype is an option, along with Yahoo! and MSN chats with a web cam.

A friend, now moved back to Australia, spent each night online chatting to his wife, who had moved back for work a year before he did.

We used to discuss the problems of his long-distance marriage and I used to wonder about the wisdom of him and his wife living so far apart.

But really, a flight across the Tasman has proved to be a gentle jaunt compared with the distance some Americans face as the economic recession bites.

The global financial meltdown will change the way some families live.

Fortunately, technology is developing so quickly that at least some visual, if not physical, contact is possible.

 

 

 

 

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