After stringent revision and research, that entry received an upgrade to: "mostly harmless."
The cynical might feel that the South Island has received a similar backhanded promotion in the eyes of the New Zealand government.
The island has seemingly been deemed "harmless" by the government, which has scrapped major infrastructure projects planned for the South, allocated funding for an abundance of roads in the North Island but few in the South, dilly-dallied over the fragile economic artery that is the Cook Strait rail ferry connection and — most egregiously for those of us who live below the banks of the Waitaki — failed to honour a promise to build the new Dunedin hospital as planned and furthermore put the future of the Otago University School of Medicine in question.
To say the least, the South Island has been far from pleased with the Year 1 results of the corporately-managed coalition government.
As a result the government has crunched the data from stakeholder feedback and decided poor poll figures — and especially slumping support in the South — might suggest grumpy voters could indeed cause some damage to its electoral hopes in 2026.
Hence, in an attempt to address a credit downgrade to "mostly harmless", we now have a Minister for the South Island, in the form of Rangitata MP James Meager.
Quite what that job entails remains to be seen: Prime Minister Christopher Luxon’s explanation that he wanted Mr Meager to get stuck in and make sure that the voice of the mainland was heard loud and clear in Wellington sounded good but it was also entirely non-specific.
So far the South Island has seen little of significance from the government’s roading spending spree, barring packages for Queenstown and Christchurch, and the rebuilding of the Ashburton bridge. Any progress in this area will be keenly anticipated.
A first-term MP, Mr Meager has been tipped as one to watch ever since an impressive performance in delivering the government’s first speech in the Address In Reply debate in late 2023. He has also been an effective chairman of the justice select committee since then.
Apart from holding the geographically useful seat of Rangitata, situated conveniently in the middle of the South Island, he also has strong Dunedin connections, having studied at the University of Otago and worked for former Dunedin National list MP Michael Woodhouse. Hopefully Mr Meager shares his former mentor’s commitment to getting on and building the new Dunedin hospital as planned.
But just how much heft a very junior MP, no matter his promise, will have in shaping government policy has to be pondered. The Minister for Auckland is ranked four in Cabinet: the Minister for the South Island is outside Cabinet.
The Minister for Auckland is also the new Minister for Health, Simeon Brown. This elevation suggests a new focus, for good or ill, will be placed on the new Dunedin hospital and the Medical School.
As Cabinet stands, Matt Doocey — who lost the tourism portfolio in yesterday’s reshuffle — is the only actual South Island resident at the big table, although Mr Luxon was quick to emphasise his Canterbury upbringing. Mr Meager might have a loud voice, but he will need to bellow to be heard on the top floors of the Beehive.
But the government has at least noticed that that harmless tract of land south of Wellington exists. Now it needs to actually listen to what the people who live there are saying.
