At last, those ageing town signs around Waitaki are due for an upgrade. There have been community meetings with the council as part of "a new district brand" and, in Southland, Waikaia now has an eagle sculpture to greet visitors.
None of this activity has been lost in the go-head community of Patearoa.
The entry to Patearoa from the north has no enticing welcome sign. From the south, none is needed, as anyone driving up from the Styx is well aware of their arrival in a major centre like Patearoa, as for the last few miles they’ve been on a sealed road.
Patearoa has a very talented artist and she’s designed an attractive roadside sign for the northern entry. It rests on local Sowburn river stones and includes a few lines from Patearoa’s poet, David McKee Wright.
There will be plantings of native species and solar power will provide lighting at night. What could be more acceptable? The hard part, getting some funding and then the OK from the local body, is under way, but one man is calling for a different approach.
Nigel is his name. He’s something of a newcomer, having arrived from "up north" a few years ago to, as he put it, "escape the rat race". He retains, though, an outlook on life which suggests that shades of his illustrious career in the corridors of power still hover.
He was, you may recall, the chair of the Cook Strait Rail Tunnel Investigation Authority and after its disbandment took over the planning for the now discredited Seaweed Energy Extraction Plant which was to have replaced the Marsden Point Oil Refinery.
Even in retirement to sleepy Patearoa he continues to bombard us with schemes which he claims "will be the making of the place". An international airport along the Kyeburn straight has been his pet project in recent times, especially since the giant Lammermoor wind farm, which he also lobbied for, ran out of puff.
His plan for a town sign is, not surprisingly, on the grandiose side and he introduced it at last month’s community meeting. It was not so much an introduction as a rousing oration.
"We’ll be up there with the big boys — Hollywood, Mosgiel and the rest of them. God gave us this mountain range for a purpose.
"High above the township, the Rock and Pillars stand with skyline broken by the pillar-type rocks which led to their naming. But, dear friends, the hillsides are bare, home to sheep and rabbits, and largely ignored by the passers-by. We will change that. Spread across those hills, almost at skyline level will be eight giant letters. And you know what those letters will be? P A T E A R O A."
We gasped with what he thought was admiration but which was actually disbelief.
"Exciting, eh? And those letters will be illuminated at night. Astronauts pining for home back on Earth will see those letters from miles high in the stratosphere and even those who don’t come from Patearoa will feel a twinge of homesickness.
"When Dunedin Airport gets to be international again, travellers from Sydney and Melbourne will see those letters as their plane descends and their spirits will be lifted. Songs will be written about those letters and tourists will flock to this hidden place to look upon this wonder. I shall go now to the highest in the land, Chris Bishop, and return with good news."
He was referring, of course, to the fact that any project costing more than petty cash needs government approval, but also hinting that he had some influence with Mr Bishop, the Minister for Infrastructure. It seems when Mr Bishop was doing PR for the big tobacco firm, Philip Morris, our Nigel was coughing his way into favour as a packet-an-hour man.
Nigel reported back last Friday. It seems the government infrastructure crowd had examined his proposal and given a partial OK. Even promised some funding.
We asked Nigel what partial meant.
"Well, it’s like this. They’re much the same crowd who have the financial say on all the big projects — Dunedin Hospital, that sort of stuff. But they like the big sign idea and have just asked if we can cut a few corners to bring it in under the budget they’ve agreed to. No lighting would save a few bob, so we’ll make do with moonlit nights for late viewing.
"Now all this will mean a bit of a change of plan, but it means we can get a sign up right away. I know you’ll be delighted when you see it, up on the hill, a beacon to visitors and a comfort to locals. It will now say P A T."
— Jim Sullivan is a Patearoa writer.
