Erin Howard gets teary-eyed as she reflects on the overwhelming response from the Macraes community and further afield after receiving a devastating diagnosis of terminal cancer on her 43rd birthday.
Last Saturday, about 100 people turned up to the Howard family’s farm Bellfield to plant hundreds of native seedlings propagated by Mrs Howard, a passionate tree enthusiast who wanted to leave a living legacy for her family and others to enjoy.
A much-loved and very involved member of the rural East Otago community — although she was characteristically quick to deflect any praise saying, ‘‘I’m just the same as anyone else’’ — Mrs Howard has lived at Macraes since 2005.
She recently learned a lump removed from her hip was malignant melanoma and a crippling migraine was in fact cancer spreading into 12 brain tumours and elsewhere to her lungs and back.
Instantly, her life turned upside-down. Son Ryan was playing in a hockey tournament and Mrs Howard left the hospital wearing large sunglasses, hiding her tears, to watch him.
She and her husband Craig kept the news from him so he could enjoy a carefree week with his mates but younger daughter Emily, who turns 12 next week, was with them when they heard.
Mrs Howard’s driver’s licence was cancelled, preventing her from ferrying their three children to sports activities in Dunedin three or more times a week, and to horse events. Previously, she clocked up about 1000km a week.
She was no longer able to drive the school bus while the brain tumours affected her concentration and consistency at work, leading her to resign from two office administrator jobs, the main one at Macraes Moonlight School. That income was an important contributor to supporting the family during tough farming years and she also resigned from the school’s board of trustees.
Mrs Howard got overwhelmed thinking too far ahead. The hardest part was knowing first-hand what it was like to lose a parent at a young age.
She was just 8 when her father, Ranfurly policeman Peter Umbers, was killed after he stopped a robbery suspect, leaving her mother Sue to raise two daughters.
‘‘It reminds me of the tough times my mother went through when my father passed. It is quite difficult to mentally push past this and I’m starting to realise to do this I may have to say goodbye to the previous me and form a new version, where I can control the little things that could benefit my family in a positive way,’’ she said.
Surgery is not an option and the oral chemotherapy drugs she is taking have a 90% chance of shrinking her tumours but are only expected to work for three months. One is not publicly funded and the cost is estimated at just under $100,000.
The drugs will eventually stop working and it is hoped immunotherapy treatment, starting in about eight weeks, will give her the best chance of survival. Her fingers were firmly crossed for a good outcome ‘‘as I do not feel my story has finished just yet’’, she said.
A friend has organised a Givealittle page which has so far raised more than $46,000. As well as visits and support, food deliveries and taxi duties, the community support extends to driving lessons for elder daughter Ashley.
Both she and her husband came from families who taught them to always give more than what was received but that was difficult to come to grips with when the roles were reversed — ‘‘the dimensions change and it’s doesn’t feel right’’.
If she goes into remission, Mrs Howard would like to get more involved in the community again, and she is particularly keen to teach people how to grow trees.‘‘I’ll never be able to pay back what people have done for me but I’ll try.’’
• Donations can be made via the givealittle page
