Murder accused Antonie Dixon's visions of chuckling and dancing goblins were not due to psychotic illness and were probably fabricated, a psychiatrist has told the High Court in Auckland.
An emotional Dixon wiped tears from his eyes as one of the psychiatrists who assessed him gave details of his troubled upbringing today.
Dixon, 40, is being retried for the murder of a man shot dead in Auckland and causing grievous bodily harm to two women with a samurai sword at Pipiroa, near Thames, in January 2003.
He was found guilty in 2005 but the conviction was quashed and a new trial ordered by the Court of Appeal.
The first retrial was halted after only two days and a new jury sworn in.
Dr Karl Jansen told the court that Dixon was suspicious of tape recorders so he did not tape their sessions but took extensive notes in several sessions he had with him.
Dixon would "go off on tangents and was difficult to understand at times", he said.
In his first interview, Dr Jansen said Dixon believed he was in prison for his beliefs and spoke of having a special connection with God and that he was demonised.
Dixon said he was on a "mission" and had identified a prisoner who he wanted to kill and said he would cut the man's intestines out.
Dr Jansen said Dixon was clear he had not taken any methamphetaine on the morning of the attack.
Dixon outlined the sexual abuse he says took place at the hands of his mother and elders from the Jehovah Witness church to which the family belonged.
Dixon had also been forced to make pornographic movies as a child, which he believed were still with the man who made them.
Dixon's mother had made him kill puppies as a seven-year-old, cutting their heads off with an axe and also drowning them.
Dixon's descriptions of dancing and chuckling goblins and other visions were most likely fabrications he made up and were not psychotic phenomena, Dr Jansen said.
At a second interview, Dixon told the doctor he wanted to be executed and said he had taken the drug P before a drug test at the Mason Clinic so he could go back to prison.
Dixon outlined numerous suicide attempts, including how he had tried to hang himself.
Dr Jansen said Dixon spoke of talking to God and that he had first taken P a year before the incident but that he was not a heavy user.
Dixon spoke increasingly in the sessions of being under surveillance and how there was a conspiracy theory against him, he said. Crown prosecutor Simon Moore finished his cross-examination of Dixon this morning, accusing him of "adding things on" in the hope the jury would think he was insane.
Dixon's references to bats, goblins and channels flicking was because he wanted to "look as crazy as you possibly can, isn't that the truth?" Mr Moore asked.
Dixon replied he had done 5-1/2 years in prison and had his blankets and sheets waiting for him when he got back.
Dixon said he was giving evidence so his victims, his children and everyone else would understand why he had acted in such a way.
"Mr Dixon, you are a manipulative man who is even as you give your evidence today, as you have done for the past days, are still attempting to manipulate the process to your advantage to avoid going to jail. What do you say to that?"
Dixon replied he was already going to jail.
It had been a tragic accident and it had probably been coming for a long time, he said.
Mr Moore needed to open his eyes, he said.
The trial finished early today to accommodate a juror who had an appointment.
Before the jury was allowed to retire, Justice Hugh Williams reminded them of the "crucial importance" of keeping an open mind.
"Please keep open-minds, don't reach any conclusion at all."
This morning Justice Williams discharged a juror, telling the court he did not intend to give out any reason for his decision.
The trial continues on Monday.
