As a parent of three, I quickly learned that not all of my children made milestones at the same age. They did not walk or talk at the same age nor did they come to toilet training at the same age.
Anyone who has tried toilet training a child who is not ready will understand what a frustrating and stressful experience it is. Most wise parents abandon it for the time being, put the nappy back on and wait a while, looking for positive and encouraging signs that the child might be ready for another attempt.
Now imagine an arbitrary standard was set for toilet training. By their third birthday, every child in New Zealand will be toilet trained. Sound crazy? There is nothing different in imposing a standard for toilet training than there is learning. Children are ready to learn at different speeds and we need to be able to embrace children for who they are, not who they "should" be.
Some parents will be able to reject the premise that their child is a dummy or a failure because they have not met the standard but most will feel the ongoing and mounting pressure to "bring their child up to speed" when, in most cases, there is no deficit in the child; they are simply not ready.
It is a mystery to me as to why our Minister for Education, Anne Tolley, believes that children transform into little replicas of each other, who can progress at the same time and rate, when they turn the magical age of 5. Either my children are alien or the minister has made an error, because they have continued to be their own little people even after the age of 5.
National Standards are a nonsense, Mrs Tolley. Trial them or abandon them. It is just plain common sense."
Heidi Hayward
Wakari
