WARNING: This article discusses allegations of child abuse and may be upsetting to some readers.
A mother who lost a child previously to unexplained circumstances said she panicked as her new four-month-old baby went limp in her arms.
“I was screaming at the top of my voice and saying his name. I did not shake him violently but all I know is I wanted to wake him up,” she said in a police interview.
But the Crown allege the baby suffered non-accidental brain damage at the hands of his mother, who is now on trial at the Whangārei District Court.

On Monday the trial began in which three evidential interviews were played to a jury of nine women and two men.
The jury heard the baby was born four months prematurely with kidney issues and at the time, had the body of a six-week-old and could not hold his head up.
On July 1, the couple presented to the local hospital with their baby which the mother reported, had gone limp and needed CPR.
The baby was found to have bleeding on the brain, right eye, torn veins and hypoxic brain damage from lack of oxygen.
The baby survived but for the next year, the mother was interviewed three times by Detective Sergeant Natalie Syddall who was trying to understand what had occurred.
In her initial police interview, the mother claimed she had no knowledge of how the baby sustained the injuries. However, the court heard that in a follow-up interview weeks later, her story took a different turn.
The mother said the day before the baby was taken to hospital, she had left him alone in a bouncer while getting her husband a drink of water and when she returned, he was facedown on the floor with his forehead lying across a metal bar.
She told police there were no bruises or signs of pain and later that night she put him back in the bouncer to observe his movement.
She said the baby began pushing himself backwards off the bouncer until his head was almost touching the ground.
“That’s how I knew it happened,” she said.
Syddall said it was a reasonable assumption that a six-week-old baby would not have movement as she had described.
The following day, after her husband left for work and she had fed the baby, she said he suddenly went stiff in her arms, and his eyes began to slowly close.
It was a situation which was eerily similar to her last baby who had not survived.
“I lost [redacted] in my arms just like that and I thought I lost him,” she said.
The woman then revealed she had failed to tell police something.
“His body turned white. He was just lifeless in my arms. I cried for his name. I was just yelling and I hold him like that and I shake him ... I kept saying [redacted] wake up! I felt him everywhere still stiff,” she told Syddall.
The woman admitted shaking him for a few seconds before reviving the baby with CPR.
When asked why she never said anything previously she said she was scared that everyone, including her husband, would think she was careless.
Once at Starship Hospital in Auckland Syddall said it became obvious to paediatrician Dr Patrick Kelly someone had hurt the baby but the woman said she was afraid to disclose what had occurred in front of her husband.
“I was scared. I knew, if he’s not around then I can tell doctor what happened I can not be afraid. I couldn’t tell about the incident because his family, everyone have been accusing me of the death of the baby,” she said.
Syddall told the woman there had been inconsistencies and lies throughout her statements and presented text messages she had sent her mother advising the baby had an infection.
“I can’t tell them he has injuries, they say a lot of things to me like ‘I did this and I did that to my baby’,” she said.
“So if you said he had serious brain damage from non-accidental injuries you would have a lot of explaining to her?” Syddall asked the woman.
“Yes. She would say ‘you guys both did something to him’.”
Almost a year later, the woman was interviewed for a third time where the final report was given to police from Dr Kelly on the baby’s health.
The baby had suffered significant brain damage from shaking or violent trauma more severe than any normal handling of a baby.
Syddall told the woman her version did not match the injuries sustained and if she had shaken the baby out of frustration she needed to admit to it.
“I would of told you by now if I had shaken him out of frustration,” she said.
The trial continues before Judge Gene Tomlinson.
FAMILY VIOLENCE
How to get help: If you're in danger now: • Phone the police on 111 or ask neighbours or friends to ring for you.
• Run outside and head for where there are other people. Scream for help so your neighbours can hear you.
• Take the children with you. Don't stop to get anything else.
• If you are being abused, remember it's not your fault. Violence is never okay.
Where to go for help or more information:
• Women's Refuge: Crisis line - 0800 REFUGE or 0800 733 843 (available 24/7)
• Shine: Helpline - 0508 744 633 (available 24/7)
• It's Not Ok: Family violence information line - 0800 456 450
• Shakti: Specialist services for African, Asian and Middle Eastern women and children.
• Crisis line - 0800 742 584 (available 24/7)
• Ministry of Justice: For information on family violence
• Te Kupenga Whakaoti Mahi Patunga: National Network of Family Violence Services
• White Ribbon: Aiming to eliminate men's violence towards women.
- Shannon Pitman